I live in the Grey. Will you meet me here?  

As I was gearing up to officially launch this website, I did a lot of research and consumption. I found life coaches, entrepreneurs, bloggers, influencers, small businesses and bad ass women in general to follow. I wanted to see how they engaged with their followers and audiences, what their newsletter experience was like, how they promoted products without looking like a car salesperson and so on. Most of it was inspiring, some of it was cringy, all of it was educational.

One observation kept popping out at me. There was a tendency to speak in absolutes and extremes. For example, “Block anyone who doesn’t support your business dream!” and “Never quit!”

Now there’s a reason for this, multiple reasons actually. These types of statements are more inflammatory. They trigger immediate and strong emotions. When you have an emotion at play, you are more inclined to remember the association, more inclined to comment or engage, more inclined to share this information and more inclined to navigate toward people who feel as emotionally strong and connected as you do to this thing.

Also, in the age of digital, having snackable or bite-size content that’s catchy and sexy to say and remember is part of key strategy. Politicians, activists, religious leaders have been doing it for centuries. It’s the equivalent of having a snazzy tagline or slogan, except now almost every piece of content posted by anyone of affluence has to deliver to that same affect.

When we repeatedly do this, it can get harmful. We lose the nuance, the story, the gray area between the black and the white. People are complex, messy creatures and most life experiences are the same – messy, complex, layered, nuanced. There are always exceptions to this rule. Racism is bad. Always. No matter what. No gray there. Rape is bad. Violence is bad. There’s more, but my point is, other than these few uncontestable instances, there’s usually more hidden in the cracks and crevices of those absolute statements. So, what happens when we keep removing the guts of things?

Well, cancel culture for one. But I don’t know that I feel like getting into that debate at the moment. Something else happens though too, and that is that we as humans stop doing the work. We don’t take the time to investigate, to understand, to empathize, to feel or imagine the possibilities. It’s so much easier to operate in a world where celebrities, viral tweets, influencers and mass influence just tell you what you’re supposed to feel or think or believe about a person, place or thing.

But how much power do you want to surrender for the sake of ease? How much of your own identity are you willing to sacrifice for convenience? How many people are you willing to classify and not forgive for the sake of conforming to popular opinion? These are legitimate questions. Questions that I don’t think people take the time to consider when scrolling and interacting online.

Is everything going to be perfect? No. Are you still going to keep having hard conversations? Yes. Is it worth it to not destroy every relationship in your life who doesn’t perfectly grasp and 100% support your dream? I sure think so.

You know the difference in your core when you are surrounding yourself with people who drag you down and make you feel less than and the people who are difficult and questioning because they care about you. Don’t skip over taking the time to decipher those differences and never let some online personality tell you when it is or isn’t time to remove someone from your life. You can use that moment as an awakening. You can absolutely use that moment of resonation to start asking yourself those uncomfortable questions, but don’t just blindly accept the terms because wherever they’re at in their life, their business, their relationships, their story; it’s different than yours and what’s right for them may not be right for you.

I think so often in our society people are afraid to talk about things because they’re worried, they won’t use the right language or terms and get attacked. They’re worried that they’ll say something wrong and against popular opinion and get attacked. They’re worried they won’t come off as liberal enough or inclusive enough or smart enough or knowledgeable enough, but all of that just creates more and more barriers that we have to break through in order to talk about what’s at the heart of these very real and very hard issues.

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