Stronger Today Podcast: Episode 6

On Episode 6 of the Stronger Today podcast, I am joined by actress, producer, stuntwoman, author and all around badass Laurie Love. She and her husband Brian Skiba are filmmakers whom I’ve admired and respected for a long time, since I was a little baby actress, so it was a huge honor to have some one-on-one time with Laurie. 

She’s the kind of woman who can do anything. Literally anything. Run through the desert for a chase scene? No problem. Jump through a glass window? No problem. Raise a family and children and take care of a home? No problem. Travel all over the country making movies? No problem. Lately she’s been posting handstand photos all over Instagram that make me tremble with envy. 

But the really incredible thing is that Laurie had to overcome a chronic illness that is super rare and super debilitating. She is the true definition of a warrior woman. She shared with me about the moment she decided to go from creating her will to choosing to go to battle to get her life back, her journey in finding the right medical care team, major life changes that she made and the ultimate reclamation of self. 

This was something I deeply related to and  I know so many others of you can relate to. Hearing and following her story was inspiring to me and has kept me going when I’ve felt like giving up, and I hope that you will also feel empowered by this incredible woman and the reminder that we can do hard things if only we make that choice. 

Join me in welcoming the hot heavy metal woman herself (you’ll get that joke when you listen to the episode) Laurie Love to the Stronger Today family! 

Stronger Today Podcast Episode 6

Show Notes and Transcript

This transcript is made using software speach to text AI. It is not perfect. Please refer to the actual podcast audio for any questions or concerns.

Melissa Farley 1:23
Hello, everyone. Welcome to the stronger today podcast where we hope you leave feeling stronger and better today than you did before. I am Melissa Farley back for a brand new fresh episode. And today I am so excited to be talking to Laurie love. She is the creative director at skiba vision. She’s also Gosh, an actress, a stunt woman, and now a published author, a producer. She’s kind of like your modern day Wonder Woman. And I found Laurie way back in the day when I was a wee tiny actor of my own. And I thought she was kick ass then. But then later in life, as I was dealing with some of my health issues, which I’ve blogged about you guys have all been on this journey with me. Laurie was actually one of the main people that inspired me to kind of keep going be my own advocate for what I needed. And really showed me that there is sort of light on the other side. You know, I kind of you sometimes you feel a little powerless, but Laurie just kind of kept pushing through and breaking down every barrier. And every time I saw her, she was looking healthier, and happier and amazing. And so I wanted to bring her on, and talk about her journey. So thank you so much, Laurie, for being with us today.

Laurie Love 3:08
Oh my gosh, thank you so much for having me. That intro has my heart. I love that. And I’m I’m just honored to been that person that has also inspired you to take on your journey full force. So thank you.

Melissa Farley 3:27
Yeah, no, thank you. So, um, so let’s just kind of start at the beginning of all the things and tell me about, you know, because I think you were feeling kind of bad for a while there before you even got a diagnosis. Can you talk about what you were noticing was going on with your body and how you weren’t operating at your best for a while?

Laurie Love 3:49
Yes, um, you know, for about actually 20 years, I’ve been experiencing symptoms that have led up to kind of where I am today. When I was 18, I found out I had fibrocystic breast disease, it’s really not a disease, but you know, it’s fibrous breasts, it’s kind of, you know, painful and sore and, and this and that, but it’s not gonna, you know, kill you or anything like that, but it is scary. Um, and then, you know, I already had TMJ, I knew that as a child, you know, jaw pain and, you know, chewing situations and that, and then I started having severe stomach issues, and abdominal pain and different things like that. And I was 21 at that time. And in fact, I had my first colonoscopy at 21 which was insane because most people you know, don’t even do that until they’re in their 40s.

Melissa Farley 4:49
However, yeah, like dreading it getting my first colonoscopy. I’m like, Oh, shit you already had.

Laurie Love 4:55
Yeah, and you know, I actually am planning on going to do it again. And it’s just, you know, one of those preventative things. But for me and my family as life went on, both my grandparents developed colon cancer. Hmm. So that has been, you know, a big thing in me too, you know, as a preventative to, you know, go ahead and do these tests and, and we should do them younger than they’re prescribed by doctors, we really, you know, younger and younger people in this generation are starting to have a lot of health issues that, you know, could be prevented or helped early on, if we just, you know, did the things that we needed to do. You don’t know until you know, half the time.

Melissa Farley 5:38
Right. Okay, so you were 21, when you started having those stomach issues, and then what kind of progressed from there,

Laurie Love 5:46
I was, you know, and then back then, my doctors were, you know, telling me, you know, it’s probably stress is this and that it’s, you know, I was diagnosed with IBS, and there’s really no cure. So I just was like, well, I just deal with it. And they’re kind of like, yeah, you know, but we could give you anti depressants, and I, at that time, I was like, you know, I really, I don’t feel depressed, I don’t feel like I want to do this right now I kind of want to see, you know, if I can work through this. And, you know, it just kind of was always there would come and go and I never really figured out what the heck it was.

Melissa Farley 6:22
And really hold on a second. So that’s interesting to me. So they were they wanted to prescribe you and I depressants too, just so you could deal with this other condition that you had. Wow, that’s fascinating.

Laurie Love 6:35
Yeah. So you know, I didn’t, I didn’t feel like I wanted to change my, you know, I want to say is changing my brain chemistry, I didn’t feel like I wanted to do that and just cover up something, you know, to see what was going on? And really, they’re just like, you know, we don’t know, and neither will you, you’re just gonna have to live with it. So I live with it. And then really, you know, I kind of just went through life dealing with that. And Right, right, about the time that I got pregnant, was when all of the symptoms of everything else really came to a head for me. Okay. And, you know, I had normal pregnancy symptoms, but then I had more, but the doctors were seeing it, as you know, this is just normal, this is pregnancy symptoms, you know, my tests were coming back fine that I could have at the time. And I started in pain started to kind of spread through my body. It started in one spot, and then it’s spread out, it started to spread go to different parts of my body. And I thought, that’s really weird. You know, I’m just pregnant and blah, blah, blah. And, you know, carpal tunnel was terrible, I had to wear, you know, gloves. And it was really difficult and painful everyday, then I started feeling numbness in my limbs, and tingling in my limbs. But it wasn’t just once in a while it started to be every single day. So, you know, throughout my pregnancy, these symptoms started raising and raising and raising and raising. And I thought, Okay, well, maybe when I have my son, things will get better. And then they never did. And they actually got worse. So that’s kind of that progression through things, you know. And then I went to the doctor and said, You know, I’ve got all these things going on, I really don’t think it’s pregnancy or any of this or, you know, after pregnancy, and I didn’t feel like I was being cared for or looked after enough. As a new mom, with the doctors that I had. And I just kind of kept going through a hamster wheel of, you know, we, we’ve tested you, your results look like they’re fine. Right? You know, you’re just gonna have to deal with it, or I have this antidepressant maybe you should take it.

Melissa Farley 9:04
That’s, that makes me mad. Okay, so so as you were dealing with all of this, I mean, you know, you said you had pain and you have these other symptoms. How is that impacting your, your daily life? I mean, were you were you able to work? Were you able to kind of function normally? Or was it impacting, you know, what you were able to do in a given day?

Laurie Love 9:25
It impacted everything that I did within a given day, for sure. You know, I really, I’m a really tough person. And I’m a stubborn person as well. And I, you know, I didn’t want to burden anyone else with my inability to, you know, be this, you know, Mom and take care of everything. And, you know, just, you know, I just didn’t want to bother anyone with what I was going through figuring that I just have to deal with it anyway. So You know, it started to get so bad, I had severe insomnia. I wasn’t getting much sleep, you know, I had a newborn, I was breastfeeding, I had three kids in elementary school, my husband was off working, you know, at a state a lot of the time. So I, you know, had to man, the house and the children, and I just put all of my focus into those things, and not myself. So that kind of spiraled. Okay, a little bit more.

Melissa Farley 10:32
So you kind of spiraled? So was it? Was it one of those, like, you hit rock bottom? And that’s what caused you to like, I gotta figure this out? Or did somebody reach out to you? Like, how did that? How did kind of the transformation start to happen? Okay, well,

Laurie Love 10:48
there was a couple things that kind of happened in synergy. At the time, when I was going through all of this ice. in pregnancy, I started doing all this research, how do I not have more toxins in my body? I just started learning about all of this, you know, and, and what can I do to be healthier? And I keep going to these doctors with these issues. And they kept telling me, I was okay. And I had a final straw moment, where I went to my doctor, I was in tears. I was like, please, you got to help me, I’m in so much pain. And you know, you look fine, is basically how these document you look fine. On the outside. You look, you look fine. Your tests are normal, like, no, it’s not normal. And these are the tests I want. And he kind of laughed at me. Mm hmm. And I was I was very upset. And, you know, his last kind of words to me were well, you know, there’s the seizure medication for fibromyalgia, that tends to work about 30% of the time, you know, I would like to prescribe you that. So, yes, exactly. That reaction is where I, I kind of sat back and I said, Okay, well, you know, I don’t think we’re a good fit. And I’m gonna leave now. Thank you. And I walked out that door, because I was like, why are you prescribing me something? You know, for a totally different issue. It may work here. But you know, the side effects of this pill alone matched the side effects I was already having. And I was like, why would Okay, it’s not going to work. You know, and I’m interested in taking it I really wanted to find out what is wrong with me. Don’t give me a pill helped me find out what’s wrong with me. Yeah. Um, so where was I going with? Okay, so that happened. I was devastated. I was devastated. And so I went home. And I mean, the pain and suffering I was experiencing by this time was incredibly severe. And it was, like, every symptom down the list, you know, attacking me at that time. And I was like, I think I’m, I’m dying. I think I’m dying. I think, you know, I, my head family history with cancer, I think, Oh, my gosh, you know, there’s something they didn’t see, there’s, you know, something is going on, and I, I didn’t know what to do. And I have, you know, all these kids and everything. And I thought,

Unknown Speaker 13:13
What am I going to do?

Laurie Love 13:15
You know, no one knows what’s wrong with me. And my body was shutting down on all levels. I really should have probably hospitalized myself. I should have went to the hospital. But I didn’t I didn’t know better. Right. And the doctors I had didn’t know what was going on either. So I happen to I started I decided to write my will at that time, wow. Because I didn’t feel like I was going to make it another, you know, two years. Okay. And while there was this, you were at this point, this was see my son is almost six,

Melissa Farley 13:58
four years ago, four years ago. Okay. Yeah, it was before we had moved to California. Okay. Okay. So you’re, you started writing your Well, you were at that point? Four years ago. Okay.

Laurie Love 14:09
I didn’t think I was gonna make it to my 40th birthday. Wow. Yeah. And so I was like, Okay, well, you know, at this time, I think I need to get my affairs in order. You know, for my children. And simultaneously, I was actually looking into disability. Okay. As you know, even though I was figuring out ways to kind of work, you know, keep my toe in the pool. I was really unable to work. I really never thought I would be able to step foot on another film set. I couldn’t think I couldn’t you know, I had migraines all the time. I had so much going on with my body. I could barely even hold on to a coffee cup without dropping in and breaking it. I was just so weak and you know, yeah, in this pit of despair. So I was watching a show when night trying to get my mind off everything. And I was watching the Beverly Hills housewives. You know, I want to see people’s lives that are crazier than mine. Right? So I was watching it, and Kyle Richards was kind of, you know, talking in the background, and then she had mentioned, you know, I have all this pain, I’m tired, I this or that. And then she was talking about her friends saying, Oh, you have fibromyalgia? And then I kind of looked up at the TV screen, I thought, What’s that? You know, I’ve never heard of that before, let me you know, let me just look it up. So I looked it up, and, you know, almost threw the computer off the bed. Because I was sitting there looking at every symptom that I was experiencing, and just in shock. So, you know, I ran back to the same doctor that I left, because of insurance reasons, I had to go to him. And it was kind of a nightmare at that time with health care. And so I went back to him, I said, Look, I just found out this information, I was able to kind of, you know, minimize a few different illnesses down, I thought it was, you know, hashimotos, Ms. lupus, or fibromyalgia and I said, these things match, you know, what I’ve got going on. And, you know, I’d like to be tested for, you know, heavy metal toxicity. And then, you know, he agreed with me the symptoms, I’ve been telling him over time, and he kind of did this test on my body, which didn’t make any sense. It didn’t, you know, he’s just like, pushing tender spots, because it’s a muscular, you know, kind of situation. And, you know, he diagnosed me with fibromyalgia, there is tests now out there, but at the time, it wasn’t seen as something reliable. And so then I asked him about the metal toxicity, and he kind of laughed at me said, there’s no way you know, you have those are exposed to it and just kind of brushed it off. And so you know, I thought, okay, okay, I have an answer. Now. Now. Now, I have the ammo to fight this. Right. So, you know, we were in the, in the middle of getting ready to move to California at the time, so I knew I was losing this doctor, which wasn’t very much of a loss for me.

Melissa Farley 17:25
Yeah, you know.

Laurie Love 17:28
But I, you know, after watching that show, and looking at my will, that I was still writing that night, I was like, You know what, I’m not going anywhere. I’m gonna fight this. There is got to has to be answers. There has to be a way and if I’m not getting answers, I’m gonna do it myself. No, and I ripped up that will I said, I don’t you know, ah, not now. Wow, good for you putting it out there. That’s it, you know, and then I started to fight. And so I did research and I was like, Okay, what can I do? What kind of exercises can I do? You know, I couldn’t do anything with my arms is so weak. And so that’s when I learned how amazing Yoga is. Hmm. And that was very helpful, you know, someone with a lot of you think it would be hard to do. And yes, it is, yes, you’re in pain. But the, the effects, you know, that I found? were absolutely incredible. Right. You know, of course, when I started, I was, I would fall all the time. And I was doing it until, you know, until I could write

Melissa Farley 18:41
so that, you know, our journeys are parallel in that sense, because I had the same experience, I had all these weird, I thought totally unrelated symptoms that were going on in my body. And when you look them up, there’s like, you know, you start reading about all these different cancers and, and so I had the same response, I thought I was dying, I thought that there was something very, very seriously wrong with me. And I thought that I might actually have bone cancer because of the way that like, everything just hurt so badly, like deeply to the bone. And, and when I went in, I don’t feel like I had as as horrible horrible of an experience with doctors as you I went to see a woman. And she was she, I think was just very perplexed. Like I could tell that she didn’t quite know what to do with me. And so like, she ran this whole gambit, you know, of tests, and you know, everything. She did run a Fibromyalgia test on me like early arthritis, all these I mean, I can’t even that it was funny because they actually have a person a phlebotomist in the office that comes and does your blood. And she saw the order. And she was this beautiful, wonderful black woman and she looks up at me. She goes, honey, I gotta be right back. I gotta get you some candy and so she couldn’t get me like some hard candy and a stuffed animal. Like that me down cuz she was gonna take like that. vials of blood, you know, in, which seemed like a lot and, and everything came back normal. Everything came back normal. And I was like, What What now? You know, like what do we do now? Because, you know, you know when your body is experiment experiencing something that you know is wrong is not right. And so I was kind of doing the same thing as you and I was I couldn’t work out I used to love weightlifting, that was my favorite thing. And I just I couldn’t do it anymore. And so I had started walking and doing yoga, because that’s about all I could do. But I was, I was determined to find out what was wrong, because I just knew that it had to be something. And for me, it ended up being my thyroid, I went and saw a, an endocrinologist. And my response was the same as how yours was with the computer. He, I walked in, and he has this little clipboard, and he’s, he’s going over, like, do you feel this? Do you feel this do you feel and it was all my things. And I was like, Oh, my God, like, I started crying because I was like, this is a real thing. Like, I’m not crazy, you know. And it was just like knowing just knowing what it was felt like a huge power that was given back to me, because then it suddenly felt like you had options, right, and you had things that you knew you could do that you could take back into your control, and start kind of getting your life back. So I’m curious how you arrived at, at this diagnosis that you have, because, like you had a doctor who wouldn’t believe you didn’t think you should even get tested for this, it is a like I had never heard of it until you started posting about it. So I’m curious how you found the support to actually get the help that you needed? Well, that’s,

Laurie Love 21:49
let me tell you, okay, so, um, at the time, we were in the middle of getting ready to move. And I thought, okay, you know, I don’t know what to do here in Arizona about this, I have no idea. But I’m going to California and there is, you know, I know, there’s so many doctors out there that, you know, are holistic, that might be able to help me, you know, there’s more people, I don’t know, I just felt like was more open out here. As far as you know how to how to heal or, or it’s just a bigger place that I could find somebody to help me and I really kept it in my mind that I said, you know, I’m going to move to California, it is going to be my healing place. That’s where I’m gonna, you know, that’s where I’m going to heal. That’s where I’m going to overcome this. And I just, you know, pray my mind and left it there. And we moved. And I was still really sick. And you know, you have to establish new health care and everything like that it took some time. But there got to a point where I was like, I told my husband, I said, Brian, I was getting to the point where my my memory and my brain, you know, throughout this time in the end that I couldn’t think I literally could not, you know, sit there and type something in and focus on it. It was just so bad. And I just I begged him, I said, Please, please, please help me find somebody I want to find a functional medicine doctor, I want a doctor that also believes in, you know, holistic, whole body healing. There’s gotta be someone out there. And then he did some research and found my doctor, Dr. Mather with Angel longevity center. And I was like, Wow, what a cool name. No, yes, I’m going it’s Angel, longevity. Come on, let’s do this. So that’s the beginning of my healing journey and finding the you know, the ways to help. You know, my diagnosis is and and found another one, you know.

Melissa Farley 23:49
So he was that doctor, the one that diagnose you with the heavy metal toxicity? Yeah, she was Yeah, okay. Okay. Was Yeah.

Laurie Love 23:57
So at first, I didn’t have the diagnosis. Like, right at first, I was literally being treated for fibromyalgia when I first showed up. Okay. And then down the line, you know, we decided to do the heavy metal tests, which I was very nervous about, and then it came back. Yeah.

Melissa Farley 24:15
What is that? How do they test that?

Laurie Love 24:17
There’s several different ways that they they test it, you know, through blood test hair, you know, urine and stool. Okay. So she kind of she did it was like a barrage of tests that I took, I mean, for everything, you know, every virus every everything, you know, I was tested, I wanted to be tested for everything I want to know I want to 30 point checkup, I want to know everything that’s going on with me and that’s and that’s kind of what she did provide for me.

Melissa Farley 24:45
Right. So, so Okay, so what is what does that mean having heavy metal toxicity? What is that? How do you one How do you even get it like and and what do you do about it?

Laurie Love 24:59
Okay. Well, we, every body is different. But we consume heavy metals every day. In the food, we eat the water, we drink, the air we breathe in dust, industrial, you know, toxins, medicine, you know, food containers, lead based paint. You know, we’ve heard about Oh, lead paint, you can’t have led paint. When I was young, I think lead paint was still around. You know, I really don’t know exactly how I became so toxic and had so much. I mean, it was at a poisoning level. Wow. And, you know, like I said, I should have been lost.

Unknown Speaker 25:50
But, um,

Laurie Love 25:55
you know, I have some ideas of where I might have, you know, gotten it from, but I can’t say for sure, I can’t pinpoint it. I have, I have no idea. And, you know, it’s it’s metals, like, you know, mercury and arsenic and cadmium and lead, and, you know, these things cause other, you know, in a huge amount in the big abundance that causes other issues, like early onset Alzheimer’s. Mm hmm. And, you know, that was a huge, shocking thing to me when my doctor told me that she said, Laurie, you know, your tests are so bad when she was telling me about it. And I was like, what, what do you mean, and she said, you are on your way to early onset Alzheimer’s, and I just lost it. Yeah, I mean, I lost it. And, you know, I felt like it too. Because my memory was going I was in so much pain. It was just it was it was crazy. Right. And I lost my grandmother to complications of Alzheimer’s. So it hit me really hard. You know, that, that? That’s something I’m fighting, you know, Oh, my gosh. You know, so.

Unknown Speaker 27:08
You know, I was going to

Melissa Farley 27:12
I think 30 minutes? Yeah, yeah. I think um, okay, so you found out you had it over it? And really, God? Yeah, there’s

Laurie Love 27:22
aluminum and deodorant there. I mean, yeah. Yeah. If you’re not using a natural deodorant that, you know, is aluminum free. You’re just, you know, and we’re absorbing everything into our skin in our bodies. Yeah, that’s what I was doing research, like makeup, different things like that. I really gotta, you know.

Melissa Farley 27:38
And so and that doesn’t show up in like a normal blood panel. Right? Like, it just wasn’t, you don’t track that? Yeah, no, no, no. Okay, so, so then, okay, so you found out you had this? And obviously, there’s a treatment for it, because you’ve posted pictures of yourself getting treatment.

Unknown Speaker 27:56
It looks bad.

Melissa Farley 27:57
Can you talk about what it like? What, what’s happening to you when they do these treatments?

Laurie Love 28:02
Yeah, you know, it’s pretty intense. And when I was going through the treatments, for both, you know, I had been for fibromyalgia and the heavy metal, my doctor, you know, she explained to me, she said, Yeah, you know, Laurie, this is, this is going to be intense. It’s going to be intense. But you you Do you know what I say and you do, you know, you follow this protocol and what, and you’re gonna find yourself, you know, back to yourself your vital self and, and this is where we’re going. So I put my faith into that and, and go full force with it. So what they do is, it’s called key lation. And it is a IV of a key lation ingredient, along with ozone, which is oh three. So it’s got it’s got an extra oxygen molecule attached to and this is what helps, you know, it helps it deliver it helps your body in a million different ways. But what happens is you won’t me I got these IV treatments. And, you know, it was once a week for, you know, I’m still doing them, but now I’m doing it once a month, but it was once a week for like, I’d say about a year. Oh, wow. Okay. And what they do is they give you this ingredient in this IV and they you know, run it into your, let me say they take your blood out and add ozone into your blood,

Melissa Farley 29:35
okay?

Laurie Love 29:36
And then the your bloods turns really bright red and then they put it back in your body, okay? Then they add the collation

Unknown Speaker 29:48
stuff.

Laurie Love 29:50
The T zone is what they call it, okay? And then then that is intravenously put into your body. And what that does is that chemical That agent, it’s a natural ingredient, it goes into your body and it is able to attach to these heavy metals and it pulls it out through your body through your organs through everything. Okay, that you’ve got you have within you and then you, you know, get it out with your normal, you know, number ones and number twos,

Melissa Farley 30:21
right. So but my body

Laurie Love 30:26
normally people actually flesh this heavy metals out of their system all the time, their bodies are working harmoniously. This is something that’s happening for them, they’re not having to worry about it, they don’t even know my body didn’t get rid of them at all. It collected them like they were little presents or something. They’re not precious metals, believe me, I don’t want to but but, you know, I don’t have the my body didn’t, doesn’t have the ability to get rid of it itself. So I had to help it along, writing this.

Melissa Farley 30:58
Specifically, those? Are the treatments painful, like do they do they hurt when you get them done? Or they make you feel sick at all?

Unknown Speaker 31:05
They’re not I mean, if you’re afraid of IVs, then you’re gonna think it’s kind of painful. But now I’m so used to it. And I was just like, you know, you got to do what you got to do no matter what it is. Because I couldn’t, I didn’t think I was going to live any longer. And you know, I was just like, I’m going for it. And at Yeah, feeling and seeing the results as I was going along, just pushed me along the way like, this is the right thing I am I’m better. I can’t believe this. I feel amazing. So know it. People have different Reno reactions to things. It does make you extremely tired afterwards, because your body’s working so hard to rewrite those. And you kind of feel a little funky. But, but really, it wasn’t as scary as I thought going into it.

Melissa Farley 31:55
Yeah. So I know you’ve decreased the frequency. Is this is this something that you’re gonna have to do kind of ongoing for the foreseeable future? Are you done after a certain point? Or how does that work?

Unknown Speaker 32:08
I am on my road to being done. I just have a couple more months. Um, yeah, I’m so excited. Well, you know, as as we went along, she was testing me and the amounts of levels of, you know, heavy metals. And I was watching the bar graphs go down, watching the metals disappear from my body. And so I got to a point where I almost stopped treatment. But we just decided to do an extra test for safety and see where I was. And when we did the test, I still had some metals in there. It wasn’t like a scary level, because you know, but it was like they’re still there. Let’s get them out. So that’s why I’m still continuing this treatment right now. It kind of gave me a setback. You know, it was a little upsetting, but I was like, You know what, I agree. Let’s completely you know, get this out. I don’t want to live with this stuff anymore.

Melissa Farley 33:01
Yeah, let’s just wipe it out. So tell me about the the healing process then like what was what was that? Like? What What did you start noticing first, as your vitality started to return? What was that like for you? Oh,

Unknown Speaker 33:17
oh my gosh, I will never forget. The first day I woke up and opened my eyes. And usually I woke up opening my eyes going, can I walk? Can I get through this day without feeling nauseous or sick or have a migraine or, you know, have all these pains all over my body and the first day I was able to get up and step out of my bed and not feel pain anymore. And be able to function was probably one of the best days of my life that I can remember. I mean, at that moment when you’re so ill, and you just start, you know, kind of giving up to the fact that you know, I’m resigned to this. I’m

Unknown Speaker 34:06
This is it.

Unknown Speaker 34:07
Yeah, then you have that moment and it is the most Gosh, I don’t even know how to explain the word I want to say it is just, you know, joy. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. And, you know, I’m overcoming something people told me you know, what, with fibromyalgia is something that I have to live with forever. And you know, with heavy metal, I had no idea. I had no idea that it was literally killing me. No idea. Yeah, so that that feeling was like a second lease on life. You know, that feeling was just ultimate joy. Dancing on the clouds.

Melissa Farley 34:47
I bet Yeah. So I’m curious. I’m curious. Um, I don’t know if you even got feedback like this. But you know, when I was going through my stuff I had actually quite a few people tell me like almost So don’t post about it on like social media, because, you know, if people know that you’re struggling with health things, people aren’t going to want to hire you for jobs or, you know, they’re, you know, there was all this kind of stigma around it. And, and in my mind, I was sort of like, well, this is part of the problem is that we don’t talk about women’s health and women’s bodies, and all of these things that actually happen probably more often than we think they do. So I was pretty dead set on sharing about it, but I’m wondering what your experience was like, and how you decided to be so open about what you were going through,

Unknown Speaker 35:35
you know, I didn’t really talk to a lot of people because of that reason, I really didn’t tell anyone what I was going through, because, you know, of my career, I was afraid that I would be seen as either a liability or weak, or, you know, just someone that they just wouldn’t have confidence in hiring because I had an autoimmune illness. And, you know, I hid it from my, my husband and my kids for a long time. And, you know, until really, I got that diagnosis from the doctor, my husband really didn’t know, he just knew something was wrong. And, you know, I just didn’t want anyone to have to it was I felt like, it was like, my journey, my thing to deal with, I was gonna handle it. But I think that’s kind of goes to how I was raised.

Melissa Farley 36:26
Right? Yeah, yeah.

Unknown Speaker 36:28
But, you know,

Unknown Speaker 36:31
I was afraid and getting better, I felt like I had a responsibility to share it. Because I didn’t feel like it was fair for me to get better. And not tell anyone about it. Right. I felt like, you know, I was really nervous to share actually, it took a lot, it took a lot to post those posts on, you know, social media, and really, you know, start getting into it. And letting people know, because I felt there’s not enough awareness people. You know, it’s not on a doctor’s radar to say, you know, you might have heavy metal toxicity or right, yeah, sounds a lot like my Fibromyalgia because my doctor as well, I swear, he went on his Google, you know, and was like, What is this?

Unknown Speaker 37:14
What test do I do?

Unknown Speaker 37:17
You know, if more people knew about it, and you know, even talking in the colleges, to these medical students, if these people knew, you know, gosh, so many people could be helped. So I felt like there was kind of a responsibility there for me. And, you know, also people like Lady Gaga and Morgan Freeman, you know, have been coming out and talking about their fibromyalgia. Right. And I thought, yeah, you know, people don’t know what it is, but you put it out there, it might help someone and if you can help one person, then, you know, you’re blessed for life, you know, you’ve done a good thing.

Melissa Farley 37:55
Yeah, that was actually, one of my inspiration points, too, is I watched that documentary about Lady Gaga. And she had she was had a really bad pain day. And the way she was like, even the way her body was kind of moving, and, and how she was describing her pain. I was like, I looked back at my husband, and I was like, I swear, that’s me. Like, I swear, that’s what I have. And it was one of the first times I really started taking it seriously, you know, because if somebody like Lady Gaga can, you know, be like, I have this issue, and it’s a real issue, and it’s impacting her ability to perform and be her best, then, like, Who am I to not? Go take care of myself, you know, but I think, you know, I’m always curious. A lot of times people ask that question of like, oh, what would you tell other people, you know, going through a similar journey, but I want to rephrase that a little bit and say, looking back at the Laurie, that was four years ago, thinking she was gonna die. What would you tell her now? I mean, what, what, what are some pearls of wisdom or even just encouragement or insight that you would share to that, Laurie?

Laurie Love 39:10
Well, you know, I have to say, a lot of my illness, I wasn’t listening to my inner voice. I wasn’t wanting to hear my instinct for a long time out of fear. And, you know, we are, we’re the only person that has been there with us for every second of every day of every year of our life. So, you know, if I wasn’t going out there and trying to figure out what’s going on with me or heal, you know, I was letting myself down. And, you know, you at you know, at me, I I have to take care of I can’t depend on everyone else to come up and And take care of me, there is no magic pill, you know, my husband can’t make me work out or eat healthy. That all starts with me. And I think, you know, I learned a huge lesson about self love and self care throughout this journey that, you know, shocked me because I kind of felt like I didn’t know what that meant. And then through this journey, it forced me to understand what that meant. And it forced me to focus on myself and my health, because, you know, how could I help anyone else if I had, if I had nothing to give, you know, it’s just giving and giving, right? But I wasn’t giving anything to me. And it wasn’t about being selfish. It’s about give to yourself, give yourself some time, do the things you like to do take care of yourself, do something nice for your body advocate for yourself and your your, you know, your medical issues, because, you know, I walked out of so many doctors offices, and because they weren’t helping me, and I was like, gosh, there has to be somebody somewhere. There, there has to be other ways to heal. There’s natural ways to heal that have been going on forever. So, you know, I dove into that. And finally, I would say, you know, that girl, you know, four years ago, that was very afraid. You know, I, I would tell her today that I’m proud of her.

Unknown Speaker 41:22
And

Laurie Love 41:23
if I could have came from the future to tell her? I would, I would tell her, just Never give up. Never give up fighting for you. Yeah,

Melissa Farley 41:34
that was something you had mentioned in another interview, we were in together. That was kind of a lesson that came from your grandma. Right? That was something she instilled in you. Yeah, she did.

Laurie Love 41:43
Yeah, he definitely does. She was a tough woman, she was really, really tough. And it really helped me get through a lot of things in life. But yeah, I’ve had a lot of things. And in my, my world and my journey through this life that have been extremely hard, and a lot of loss and a lot of heartache and pain. And, and that lesson she taught me has carried me through for the longest time. Because I knew what she meant, because I watched her do it. And I watched other women do it. And I watched you know, my mom beat cancer, my sister beat cancer, and, you know, it was just like, never give up and hold on to faith and hold on to your dreams. And, you know, see yourself there, see yourself where you want to be? Yeah, I

Melissa Farley 42:29
think that is such a powerful testament to mindset over matter, right? I mean, there’s so many people that do get a diagnosis or have something happen in life, and they just sort of surrender to it. But you were like, No, I’m taking this bull by the horns, and we’re going to fight it out. And I’m going to walk out here winner. So I really admire that about you. And I do want to ask you, I think I’m trying to think the best way to ask this like, I know you’re going through your, your specific treatments for your, your, your conditions, but have you made any other kinds of like, lifestyle changes? Or like what, what could we take from you to be just healthier people in general that you’ve learned throughout this whole journey? Absolutely.

Laurie Love 43:18
I have, you know, really changed my lifestyle a lot. And, you know, through the, I guess, the blessing of the curse that I had, you know, this is where I’m at today. And at first, I ended up my doctor, I saw a nutritionist as well, that was extremely helpful. And let me tell you, this is what I’m going to tell everybody here today. Get your food allergies tested. That your food allergies tested, because for all my life, I didn’t realize I was allergic to dairy, and wheat.

Melissa Farley 43:55
How do you know that like,

Laurie Love 43:58
in that funny? Well, yes, I had all these. Interestingly enough, I had all of these weird symptoms, and I had IBS. Well, no one ever thought to test my food allergies. You know, I wasn’t even thinking it because I was told Oh, this is this, you know, this is a syndrome and you just deal with it? Well, actually, I kind of feel like a lot of that was food allergies because I was eating everything. Almost every day that I was allergic to forever. Forever. So and you know, and when I stopped. I mean, I stopped when I found out I was like oh my gosh, like I’m going to quit eating all of it. And when I stopped it made a huge difference. Huge difference. And you know, I was just like, Oh my gosh, you know, how am I going to survive and you know, I went I went vegan gluten free. When she told me I had to stop drinking soda. I thought I was going to die. Because I drink so much Diet Coke. It was crazy and that’s so unhealthy. I know But you know, I loved and I actually was easier to quit than I thought I just because my mindset was like, I’m doing it I’m, I’m not giving up, I’m gonna do everything. And and I guess it made it a little bit easier. But food allergy testing also you really have to concentrate on your,

Unknown Speaker 45:21
your inner self.

Laurie Love 45:24
Um, obviously your health because you know, exercise and eating right. And taking care of your mental health really does work. Make a difference. It really does. You know, but people have to do it. Right. You know, and that’s, that’s the hardest part. And that’s why I’m saying you know, you, it’s your job to take care of you. Yeah, have to do it. You know, if you want to feel better, and you want to make your life better, what are you gonna do about it? So, you know, for me, things I used was, you know, yoga, and I started meditating. And I, you know, went vegan, and I mean, I’m not always but

Unknown Speaker 46:09
again,

Unknown Speaker 46:11
you know, there’s a lot to it. There’s a lot to it. It was really calming and calming for my mind, right? But nutrition wise, I had to I have to basically cook all my own food most of the time. It’s just how I have to live now.

Melissa Farley 46:23
Well, that’s what I don’t want to sound judgy but like, every time I hear somebody say they’re like vegan, gluten free, you know, they go down the list. I’m like, What do you eat? Like, I know, like, what do you eat? I seriously, I like I can’t even think of one meal option that would be like,

Laurie Love 46:43
I hear you because well get the kicker I found out I was allergic to cane sugar. Oh, wow. That’s like, everything in everything. I went to the grocery store and cried because I looked at every box trying to find something I could eat that was vegan and gluten free. And then you know, it all had sugar. Yeah, no. So I was like, what, what am I going to do? So you know, you can eat as many fruits and vegetables as you want. For me. My nutritionist was the head of, you know, the UCLA diabetic program over there. So she had a wealth of knowledge. And, you know, she also told me some foods to you know, eat, she’s like, you know, just, you know, eat Keene WA, and, you know, this and that, and this is how your place that she got me to quit drinking soda. Yeah, which I was able to do that because I started drinking zevia which is this, you know, natural

Unknown Speaker 47:37
water,

Laurie Love 47:38
but tastes like soda. Yeah. So that’s kind of what helped me kick that habit. Okay, and, yeah, fruits and vegetables, you know, brown rice, you know, potatoes. You know, it was really hard. And it’s, I feel like sometimes, you know, that I felt like I was starving in the beginning. But once I got the hang of it, and I, you know, started, you know, making recipes and it kind of snowballed, and my kids ended up finding that they liked the food too. And my husband and and through that process, you know, my husband lost 20 pounds, because he was eating the food I was creating. It was it was really cool that that happened that way. But you know, a lot of you know, lentils and beans and chickpeas and things like that. But yeah, I miss Bread.

Melissa Farley 48:28
Bread, I know what she’s what kill me and all that. But do you have a Do you have a recipe book or anything that you use for like ideas and inspiration?

Laurie Love 48:39
I actually don’t, but I love to cook. I actually had many moons ago started writing a family recipe book, but I never finished it. Okay, and everything, you know, had all the deliciousness in it that you could ever want. So now I you know, I can’t really reference that, but I tried to make my food taste like everything else. You know, and and I did start to write another recipe book about a year ago of these dishes, and I did make a little a few little videos over this quarantine time about some of the little things that I had made.

Unknown Speaker 49:17
But

Laurie Love 49:18
no recipe book at this time is just a lot of research, a lot of Pinterest searching and coming up with my own stuff.

Melissa Farley 49:27
Well out of pure selfishness, I’m gonna say start sharing recipes. Because Oh, I know, I know that nutrition is something I absolutely need to work on. For my health. I have a really hard time with it because I’m sure I’m sure you’re the same way. It’s like I’m so busy that for me, convenience is a huge factor or just like efficiency. And so if it’s not kind of easily accessible to me or something I can do quickly. I just like fall back on old patterns which are not healthy. So I would look love to see anything you have to share about food and recipe ideas and snacking and all that good stuff. So all right, I will do that. Okay, awesome. I’m allergic to sesame seeds. So

Laurie Love 50:11
I have an awesome, awesome tahini free hummus recipe that is out of this world and easy and high price. I do that as well. But I’ve got I’ve got other stuff I’ll share. I’ll start sharing more.

Melissa Farley 50:23
Awesome. All right, you get it here for folks. I’m holding Laurie accountable for speaking. No, I’m just kidding. But seriously, thank you so much Laurie, for sharing about your journey and just being an inspiration to all of us. And, you know, I think it’s you touched on something that I talked about all the time, and I just cannot emphasize it enough. It really does come down to those basic things of taking care of yourself, how you’re nourishing your body, how you’re nourishing your mind and your spirit. You know, sleeping well all of those basic things that we just neglect to do sometimes are so important for creating a foundation of health and healing for your body. So I love that he brought that back at the end. And if you’re interested in more of this topic, I do have a blog called becoming the CEO of your health. I hope that you’ll check it out. I’m stronger today. Thank you so much, Laurie, for joining us. And thank you to all of you for listening to this episode of the stronger today podcast. If you loved what you heard today, please give us some love, share a great review. If you didn’t love it be a Thumper. Keep it to yourself. And you can find all of the podcast episodes on stronger today.co we’ll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

 

Kimber Leigh  02:12

So in order for me to explain the journey, I think I need to start with how I even understood what a mentor was, or I because there was one point in my life where I was at my lowest flow had nowhere to go. And serendipitously, I met a gentleman that I had known for 25 years we lost contact. And he thought that I was this famous wealthy actress that because I had produced 100 animal shows and I made all these films, and he just thought I was really something and his wife said to him one day, whatever happened to Kimber? And he said, I don’t know, I haven’t spoken to her in years. And she said, Well Google her. So he googled me. And he called me and he reached out. And the moment that he called me though, was it the most pivotable pivotal, underlying moment in my life where it was completely falling apart. I had nothing. I had no money. I had no love life. I had no personal life. I was literally stripped of everything. So he asked me to meet him the following day to go meet a gentleman by the name of Don Hannah. And yes, it is the dawn Hanna. That is the Darryl Hannah’s father. So I had no idea who I was meeting. And I get there and spend many hours at his table. And all he says to me is Kimber, I’m what you call a plate spinner. I spent a lot of plates, but that’s all I do it the kind of help you need, I don’t think I can help you with. He said, I want you to meet me tomorrow at 8am at this building, and don’t be late. So I have no idea. I show up. And I find myself standing in a room with 50 entrepreneurs. And every entrepreneur got a moment to stand up and give the 62nd talk about who they were. And when they introduced Don Hanna. They were introducing him as he worked very closely with Fidel Castro and he was the one of the people that founded Michael Jackson, and on and on and I was like, What am I doing here? How did I find myself here? I mean, it was mind blowing. And then all of a sudden he said he stood up after he got introduced and he said I would like to gift all of my 60 seconds to Kimber You’re right, yeah, Melissa, I have no idea why I’m in this room and I met my lowest low, I don’t want to talk. But I stood up and just prayed, I asked God to speak through me. And literally the words that came out of my mouth just came out. And then after that was over, Mr. Don Han is so graciously said to me, out of all these 50 successful entrepreneurs, pick one who you want to mentor under. And that was my first experience with mentoring. And I chose a gentleman who, again, I had no idea who he was, but I felt drawn to him. And his name was Somers, White, and Somers, White, mentored me up till this day, this was six years ago. And every day or every other day, we either email we talk about life, love, health, business, you name it, we talk about it. And finally, I realized that he has gifted me endless, endless hours of mentoring, and it is now my responsibility to give back to life, those many hours that he gave to me.

 

Melissa Farley  06:24

Hmm. Well, it’s such an incredible story. And I was I was hoping you would share that that’s kind of why I set it up as open in Vegas. I did because I wanted you to share that exact story. Let me ask you, before we continue on this journey, what what was it about him that you were drawn to like? What did he say something that resonated with you? Was it just kind of a an energetic connection? What was it that? I mean, there was 50 people you could have picked? Like, why? Why him?

 

Kimber Leigh  06:58

So here’s another really cool part of that story. I love my life, because it’s always just angelic, like the angels in the heavens open. And my every wish comes true. So it’s one of the reasons was Somers was so energetic, and so smart. And he was, he’s in his 80s. And I thought, well, he’s lived a very long life. And he’s probably had a lot of successes, as well, as many, many failures. So I wanted the gamut of that. But when I, when I was introduced to Somers, he said, Sure, why don’t you I contact you by email, and I said, Okay, now again, I don’t know who Somers White is, I just, he’s just a gentleman to me that stood up and spoke. And I felt drawn to be wanting his wisdom to learn from him. So I get home, he emails me. And the email has his outline of what he charges and how we’re going to go about this. And I read the email, and it says that he charges $10,000 an hour or constantly. So I was like, I read that. Now I just got done telling you I was at my low was slow. I didn’t have two nickels to rub together. And I looked at that email, and I was like, Oh, well, well, that was a pipe dream. And I’ll be on to my next mentor if they ever get that. So I ignored the email. And then two days later, Somers emails me again. And he says, Kimber, you didn’t respond, because along with the price range came up full page questionnaire. And I didn’t respond. And he goes, You didn’t respond to my email, and I read it. And I’m like, in my head, I was going, Yeah, I’m not going to be responding either. Unless I. And then, so I ignored it again. Then he finally calls me. And I’ll never forget the moment I’m in my garage. I’m getting I’m purging my whole life, because it was I was so bottomless. And he calls me and he says, Kimber, you didn’t respond to my email. And I said, Yeah, you’re right. I didn’t respond to your email. And now I’m a little bit tipped. Because, of course, I didn’t respond to your email. Why do you keep bugging me is what I’m thinking. And he said, Well, why didn’t you respond? And I said, Somers, are you serious right now? I am, broke. I am a broken woman. I have nothing. I’m lucky. I even have love to give to myself right now. And he stopped and listened to my whole story. And then he said to me, Kimber, did I ask you for any money? Or did I simply send you my fee range? I thought about her for a minute. Well, no, you didn’t ask me for any money. And so he said, I’d like you to come and sit at my dining room table, if you would do that, and I took him up on that offer. He knew I had full disclosure, just like you did, Melissa, with the opening of your podcast, I gave full disclosure of my wife. In fact, I fell apart at his table, I just emotionally melted down. And he literally, piece by piece for six hours, I sat at his table that day. And he put me back together, he put a mirror in front of my face to show me really, who I was, as a woman, not who I thought I was through the eyes of others. And he showed me my value and my worth. And it was the most profound adult moment in my life at that point. And after he had done that, we just continued on. And I want to backtrack for a moment. The reason why he chose me, to give me that free mentorship was because he was me at one point in his life. And someone mentor that was as intelligent as Somers. And never charged him anything, in fact, took him out to dinner every day for years and years and years, and gave a wealth of knowledge. And Somers chose me to be that gift back to his mentor, who was now passed away for many, many years.

 

Melissa Farley  12:07

I think that’s so incredible, because it it speaks to two things. One is that if you had not been so vulnerable, and tried to hide, you know, where you were actually at, and and where you were, at that point in your life, that gift might not have been passed on to you. So that’s really a testament right to being genuine and authentic and standing where you are. And I love that. And then the other thing that it speaks to is this idea, right? Of, we don’t know, we can’t just make assumptions of what other people are willing to give or not to give, right. I mean, so often were intimidated to talk to that big name approach that famous person, you know, but we don’t know that they don’t have a story like Somers where they they are looking for somebody to be sto, you know, this gift upon. So that’s a really cool opportunity as well. So let’s we keep kind of circling around this, who is Somers.

 

Kimber Leigh  13:03

So Somers, White, was the youngest bank president ever. And he was a US senator. And he also is in the speaker’s Hall of Fame, with the likes of Colin Powell, Zig Ziglar. Ronald Reagan, there’s only 250 people in the speaker’s Hall of Fame. And Somers has given over 3000 speeches all over the world. And he is a superior entrepreneur. And where he is in his life today is he’s literally giving back to people like me. Um, we belong to a group of entrepreneurs called the life sciences, which is it’s sort of a hybrid group of people that love to take other people under their wings. But it’s a lot of work. And the only reason I believe why Somers stayed with me is because I put the work in, he would give me such tedious assignments to do, for instance, because he wanted to see how serious Am I Somers belief is this time is way more valuable than money. Because when you spend your money, you always have the ability to make more, but when you spend your time, you can’t get that back. So he wasn’t going to spend time on me if I wasn’t willing to be teachable. And when you’re at your lowest slow in your life when you’re struggling, any assignment somebody gives you is overwhelming, at best. And one of the things that he wanted me to do was he would give me the most menial things to research, but in order to research I had to email people I had to ask them with a thought I had to Google, I had to work put in eight hours a day. And then when I got all of my research done, then I had to put it in a sentence format that would end up in a triangle, starting with the longest sentence, and then the next and then the next. And then the next. Melissa, there were so many moments that I sat there, I cried, I threw a fit, I tore up and rip the paper and threw it away. I had a three year old meltdown, privacy of my own home. But I knew that I had to do this, I knew that I couldn’t stay where I was, or I wouldn’t be here. Right? Because when you when there is no hope you will fight. If you’re serious about wanting hope, you will fight your way out of a paper bag that is glued shut and put in a box that is put in a crate that is put in a dumpster at the bottom of the trash, you will fight and fight and fight to get out. And that’s what Somers helped me do is fight my way out of the dark hole that I put myself in? Because no one did it too.

 

Melissa Farley  16:29

Right? Yeah, I think you again, highlight two really important things. One is, you know, you have to be open and willing and able, like you can’t have somebody fix fix you for yourself, right? You have to be the one to do all of that foundational work. And if you’re not ready to do that, it doesn’t matter how many times God puts a Somers in front of you, if you’re not ready to accept that challenge, then you know, it’s just not going to make that difference. And you know, it sounds very, like Karate Kid esque of the kind of work He made you do you know, before you got to start kicking some ass and i think that’s that’s really kind of cool to see it in a real life application, as opposed to, you know, just in a movie. And so the next question I’m going to ask you is going to sound a little I don’t want it to be restrictive. I don’t want I don’t want it to be a boxed in question. So feel free to kind of take it wherever it takes you. You know, what are the What do you feel? Are the biggest gifts or maybe like those biggest aha moments that you had with Somers that actually were pivotal in helping you to move forward and out of that place of hopelessness? Well,

 

Kimber Leigh  17:54

what one of the most aha moments was I loved his Stern, very stern attitude towards me. But with that, sternness came a tremendous amount of underlying love and concern, like something that you would give to only to a family member. And he never let me wallow, like I cried, and I broke down that one day at his table. But there were many, many days and moments that I cried by myself in my house because I isolated for four years, Somers was the only person that I talked to, because I allow him, like I said, in the beginning to glue me back piece by piece. So he would call me every day, he would email me in between the phone calls. He he was just patient, but stern and loving, and it’s I took a lot of his time. But what I did was I he taught me focus, like literal focus, do not take your eye off this ball. And I don’t know what Somers Well, I do know Somers background was he was raised with very loving, kind, abundant family who, when he talks about his childhood, it’s something that everybody dreams of, and I have the exact opposite of that. And I believe that when summer’s heard about my life, because, as you know, I wrote a book, The my book that became best selling, but what, hardly anybody knows his Somers read, the rah rah version, the version that has everything in it. Every ugly bit of it, and when he read it, he said to me, Kimber, you can’t publish that. And I was like, and the book and by the way, the book was going to be released the next day on Amazon. It was my publisher was uploading it that day. And they said Somers Why? And I thought it was because I speak of the light because I was touched by the light, during a severe beating that I was taking by my mother, to the point where I thought I was dead. And I thought I had entered into heaven, because I was engulfed in the slight. And I thought it was because of that, because maybe the world would think I was crazy. But what it was, more importantly, is he said, Kimber, it’s 90%. Bad. And only 10%. Good. And you’re going to shut the reader down. He said, You need to flip flop the book, to where it’s 10% bad, and 90%. Good. And I said that Somers if I do that, that means a total rewrite. And I’ve been writing this book already for two years, well, actually a lifetime. I said, but physically for two years. And he said, Yeah, and so what else do you do? And so I think by sharing that story with you, one of the things that he doesn’t let me he doesn’t bullcrap me, he doesn’t feed me. Things I want to hear he’s, he’s truthful. He doesn’t build me up. He makes me build me up. And he encourages me to do that for myself. So when that moment when he told me you can’t publish that, he shared with me later that 90 99% of the people if he said that to them, they would have published the book anyway. He said, Kimber, you are the 1%. That put the book, I actually quit. I said, Okay, fine. I won’t publish it. But I’m not going to finish it either. So that was another three year old said, I threw. And I took the book, and I put it away. And I was like, Okay, I’m done. And then after three weeks, I wrote him back and I said, Somers, I’ll do it your way. And so he gives you a choice, just like a parent would give a child a choice, you can either take my advice, or you can leave it. It doesn’t hurt Somers, if I don’t take his advice, because he’s already successful. It only hurts me.

 

22:46

Right? Yeah, I

 

Melissa Farley  22:48

think you. This is a great segue, because you’ve said something that I think is so critical and crucial, which is that, you know, the job of a mentor, a good mentor isn’t to build you up, it’s to help you build yourself up, right. And so I want to talk about that a little bit. And I realized that every experience is going to be different. So we’re just talking about your experience here, you know, and so many people don’t truly understand what a mentorship is, you know, is it this super structured thing where you’re doing assignments like that the whole way through? Is it a casual thing where you just check in and have conversations about like, what, what is the dynamic of a mentorship?

 

Kimber Leigh  23:34

Very good question. Because it is true, some people just don’t get it. I personally believe and I don’t want anyone out there to think that this is okay to do. But I personally think that it’s mentoring is better than therapy. Because in my mind therapy, you get 45 minutes to shed your shed yourself and share your problems. And then you have to go back and start all over again. With a mentorship. It isn’t about how much how many hours you’re on the phone with someone or how many times a day a true pure, caring mentorship is about. I’m here for you. I am your gift, your support. You need six hours at my table. You have six hours if that’s what it’s going to take to make you see who you are for real. Instead of believing with somebody told you, you are a true pure mentorship is about shining the brightest light that you can for someone who was in the dark, shine the light, let them find their way out because when you can see in the dark, you are in the light and a true pure mentorship is telling the truth. Telling the truth about where they’re failing. They might not want to hear it. And right now, with the mentors that I have working with me, it’s been such an amazing journey, especially one story that I have with working with this one woman. She is struggling, struggling like I was. But um, part of the problem is there’s a lot about side influenced from family. So do you believe your family? Or do you believe this outsiders, so you have to gain trust with your mentor, with whomever you’re mentoring, gaining their trust takes a lot of time. Because it’s the same thing as a love relationship, a personal relationship, you just have to make that happen. Once you gain their trust, always, always, always tell the truth. Even if they’re crying, struggling, and they’re blaming others, all problems, come back to why it all starts here. Because a it’s you choose to believe what someone tells you, or you don’t. It’s that simple. You know who you are, someone tells you, if I say, Melissa, the screen behind you is blue, and you say it’s pink. And I tell you, no, it’s blue. And I’m more successful than you, you’re either going to believe me or you’re going to believe you. Right? But you always always have to believe that you have a choice. If people say something about you, are you going to choose that? Because if you do, then Shame on you. And all relationships, all problems, all failures, all successes, boil down to one thing, and that’s you. So in order to be a great, the nominal mentor, you just have to be and be honest, while you’re being in that program with them.

 

Melissa Farley  27:14

Right? How do you now you’re in a position where you are mentoring, right? How you were talking about working with this woman? How do you decide who you’re going to mentor and if this is going to be a good relationship or a beneficial relationship, I mean, you know, you kind of have to go jump through some hoops to work through Somers is that a process that you’ve adopted yourself before you begin mentoring someone?

 

Kimber Leigh  27:41

Well, up, so I was my first mentor. So being with Somers and mentoring under him, eventually, what happens is when you help somebody grow up emotionally, they need to spread their wings, too, because then you’re filled up in you overflow with your goods. So you, it’s like people have to hold their cup out and get some of your good. So one thing that I learned in, in many senses is that you can’t go up to somebody and say, I want to mentor you, because people aren’t ready, you have to wait till they come to you and believe this, the universe will send you all those people. And before you know it, you will have four or five, every, every one that comes to you their problems will be different. I’m even mentoring a woman who’s hugely successful works with Forbes, and very wealthy and intelligent, and she comes to me. And so I sit there and I say to myself, wow, isn’t that something. But what it is simply is that it doesn’t matter how much money you make, how much money you don’t make, how successful you are, or you are not, we all need each other. And we all need somebody who will not judge us, who will just be there to hold our hands and lead the way and tell us the truth.

 

Melissa Farley  29:22

I love that and that actually answers. The next question I was gonna ask you or maybe it doesn’t maybe you have a different word to speak to this. But, you know, there’s, there’s people that I’ve encountered that kind of have that mentality of like, Oh, no, I have to do this on my own. You know, this is something I need to figure out myself. And so they almost view mentorship or coaching or therapy or anything like that as a weakness. What would you say to people like that, that probably do need some guidance but have been maybe raised or just you know, have that idea in their head that that it’s a weakness

 

Kimber Leigh  30:01

Well, that that’s judging. For a bet, for lack of better words of weakness is invulnerability are beautiful, beautiful gifts. And if you can strip away the pride, the ego, because the ego is what gets us in trouble. The ego is Ooh, yeah, look at me. But it’s not about that. It’s about really being authentic and authenticity and vulnerability, and open. honesty about who and what we are, is what’s so necessary in the world we’re in today. And I believe that mentoring is going to take on a new light, because of all the struggles that are happening. And so if you feel like it’s a weakness, I say, Okay, I don’t care what you feel. But what you do need is to have somebody to lean on, and somebody that you can, like we talked about trust? And wouldn’t it be refreshing to just go be able to go to somebody who isn’t going to judge you? Who’s going to tell you the truth? Who’s going to be there for you, no matter what a therapist, they answer their phone from nine to five, they take you by appointment, my phone, my text messaging is open 24, seven, as long as I’m not zooming or paddleboarding or scuba diving, I am taking phone calls, because it’s so important. Why is that? Because I want to live in a world like that where people are authentic, and weak, but yet strong. And, and where people can lean on each other, and not be afraid it would be so wonderful. And that’s why I give so freely because I want to live in that world. That’s, that’s beautiful. That’s a selfish mentor.

 

Melissa Farley  32:12

Even that’s not that selfish, though. I mean, so let me let me ask you this, um, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s interesting, because I, speaking of being selfish, I kind of wanted to learn from you a little bit, because I am a mentor, I’m a mentor to a 14 year old. And it’s through a program called new pathways for youth. And all of these kids are considered at risk they are come from extreme poverty, have one or both parents in jail are in and out of jail, often. You know, there, there’s just a lot of different factors and usually have a lot of trauma in their lives. And I don’t have kids, you know, I’ve never raised children of my own. And so dealing with a young person was was a new experience for me, and I’m going on year, it’ll be four years and a couple of months here that I’ve been with her. And, you know, for me, one of the things that was difficult was, I wanted to fix everything so badly in her life, you know, it was just this urge to, like, make everything all better. And I sort of felt like a failure if if it wasn’t getting all better if things weren’t improving, and, and then about, I would say two and a half years, then I kind of had this experience where I shifted to feeling like I needed to fix everything to feeling like, I just need to be here for her, like no matter what, no matter if she gets the A or the F No matter if she makes the good decisions or the bad decisions, like no matter what happens, I need to be the one person that is unconditionally there for her. And, and I can do that, you know, I can I can do that. And I guess it’s funny, because I want to ask you like, is that right? Or Is that wrong? But But I guess, you know, I’m looking for a little bit of advice, because I think that I want the best for her. But I also understand that, you know, I can’t change her home life. I can’t make those decisions for her when she’s in those trying moments. Like there’s so much that I don’t have control over. So as a mentor, how do I, I guess, how do I know? Or how do I continue to feel like I’m actually making an impact? You know?

 

Kimber Leigh  34:38

Another good question. And as you were asking me, I was putting myself back at the age of 14 and I was her hugely struggling, had no mentor have really had I raised myself and I made so many mistakes. What I didn’t have was to know that there was someone in the foreground that would capture me, that would save me. And so I believe you’re doing a phenomenal job, you just by being there by being available, by being kind and encouraging, by telling her no man, I don’t care how bad it is, what you need to talk about, or what you’ve done, or what you’re thinking of doing, please just confide in me, because I want you to know, you can trust me, I’m here for you. It might not resonate with her right now. And it might not resonate with her when she’s 18. But believe me, as she grows into her womanhood, those are going to be the you are going to be so much in her memory bank, in her DNA, and in her heart, mind and soul, that she will turn around and mentor somebody else. And I want to say this too, even though you don’t have kids. And I do, that doesn’t make me any better at giving advice to a youth because children or children or children, and there is an apparent alive that has all the answers or tools, we wing it 24, seven, even when your kids grow up. So the best thing that you can do for her is let her make mistakes. Because when we interview these women, we talk about which you know, how do you feel about failure? I think failure I would far rather learn from failure than from success, because what do you learn from success? You don’t there’s no way to get better after you succeed after you succeed. And so I’m so happy that she has you, Melissa, that’s, you’re such a blessing to her.

 

Melissa Farley  37:01

Thank you. Yeah, I love her deeply. And, you know, I think I just I’m always trying to think of ways to be better for her, you know, and in that way, it’s a gift back to me, right? Like, like, I learned so much from her, probably just as much if not more that she learns from me. And, and you know, too, I mean, Kimber and I just helped get a book out called from us, for you inspiring stories of healing, growth and transformation. And it’s it has all these women authors, 25 women that wrote these incredible stories, and we got to interview all of the authors. And Kimber knows, my favorite question to ask them is, what’s a failure you can share? Because I truly do believe that us it’s so valuable to learn from the failures of other people’s lives and experiences more so than than the victories. So I’m a big fan of that approach. And I think, you know, I think that’s funny that I didn’t even realize that with her, I was trying to protect her from those failures, you know, I was trying to find ways to help her, avoid those failures, when they are such a, you know, valuable part of life, you know, and they are unavoidable, there’s no way that I can, that I can reroute her completely around I’ll l failure. So, that’s, that’s so great that you said that. And the other thing you said to, that just confirmed it for me, somebody else that I that was on the board of the organization I work with said that mentoring is like growing a solaro. You know, it’s like, you plant the seeds, and you don’t see the results this year, maybe next year, who knows, it might take you know, all these years, but that’s the world will grow and it will be strong, and it will be fierce. And you know, and it’s going to be because of those original seeds you planted. And I thought that was such a great, great way to visualize that. You know,

 

Kimber Leigh  39:03

that is, you know, look at me. I mean, Somers has invested six years in me, and that’s a lot of time. And I have blossomed and he, that’s what he loves. He the satisfaction that he gets is seeing where I am today, knowing the woman that I was prior. So for your young lady that you are mentoring. I think just listening is one of the other key things. Just listen, because if you truly listen, what they’re saying there is there is what they’re not saying. There’s an underlying thing that they’re not talking about. They’re coding, they’re coding it with some kind of facade because they’re too afraid to express deeply what’s going on. And so it’s your job as the mentor to wipe all That facade away? And what is the real question? So listening and asking them a lot of questions to the question that they have for you, is where the key is?

 

Melissa Farley  40:16

Yeah, you know, something really incredible happened to you that I wanted to share. And I’m not going to be able to explain this very well, because I’m not a scientist and things like go in and out of my brain. But I read this book about trauma and PTSD called the body keeps the score. Are you familiar with that book? Well, it’s, it’s really incredible, it kind of talks about what happens physiologically, and like chemically, when your body experiences trauma, and all the different ways it stores it. And it particularly talks about kids and youth, how they, they actually sort of lose touch with their bodies, and then don’t know how to express certain things. And all these barriers go up. And so there was this chapter that talked about, they found that when they would tie simple physical activity, like throwing a ball back and forth, or, you know, something like that, it was helping to unlock the parts of the brain that, that controlled that. And so they were finding that the children would be more vulnerable and, and talk more. And so the pandemic gave me such an unexpected gift, because originally I would take her to all these outings, I’d want to take her to museums and take her to get milkshakes. And you know, we do all these fun things. And then when COVID head, I was very cautious. And so I actually didn’t see her for a long time. And that was bothering me. And so then I thought, well, we could, the weather’s, okay, so we could just go for walks, I could drive to her house, and we could walk around her neighborhood. And oh, my gosh, it was like our entire relationship shifted and deepened, and she was talking more and like, there was something real to this idea of like, adding some sort of a physical activity to just being present with her and listening, like you were saying, all of a sudden, she, I felt like she let me in, you know, and it was this really magical moment. And so I just think that’s really, really fascinating. And I even advise that to people. Now with affirmations, like when you’re saying affirmations, go for a walk, or walk around your house and speak your affirmations out loud, because it like, it just does something different to your body into your soul, when you have that physical movement along with, you know, those things that you’re saying. So I just thought that was fascinating.

 

Kimber Leigh  42:41

Yeah, that’s very true. Because that four year period that I talked about earlier, where I isolated when I finally got the courage, because it does, it’s in your head, it’s in your DNA, you, you don’t really feel your body, and you want to. And so I took myself outside. And at one point, I could only walk from my house to the mailbox across the street. And then I eventually found myself walking five miles, and looking up at the clouds and take and I started, this is gonna sound bizarre. But I started seeing imagery in the clouds. And I started to photograph that. And it was a moment that got me back in touch with my body because I was having that movement of walking, and seeing and feeling the imagery. And yeah, so it is very true. And for anybody that’s listening, if you have had PTSD, or any type of trauma, the body is made up of energy, we have trillions and trillions of cells inside of our bodies that love to be commanded. And you have to move your body in order to move the energy and move that dysfunction out. So with every step that I took with the five miles, I left a little thought on the ground, all the thoughts of four years of thinking how horrible I was, and I put them inside the asphalt. And that’s how I read my body of all of that negativity. Yeah,

 

Melissa Farley  44:24

I think that that may be why I felt such a well, not just that, but you know, I felt such a kindred connection with you. When we reconnected later on, you know, more more recently in life because, you know, I had been through a lot of childhood trauma that I just didn’t address. And so when I left my corporate job, I knew that I wanted to take some time off to heal and I only did a year I didn’t do four years of isolation, but it was a very intentional isolative period of my life and right at the beginning of that, for the first time in my life, I got tired with PTSD, nobody had ever talked to me about PTSD. And so this was a totally new thing for me. And so I started walking, because I was so unhealthy and other ways I couldn’t, I couldn’t work out, I there was a lot of physical things that I just couldn’t do because of my health. But I could walk and it, it was miraculous, because they, I used to say, I would go on walks with God, because I, before I started doing affirmations, I would just talk, you know, to, to the universe, and to God about everything, and anything that was weighing me down, and that that what you said about, you know, putting it into the asphalt, you know, that’s how I felt, too. It was like, I was just letting it all go with every step that I took. And so I think that it’s a really freeing thing. And I think that’s something that a lot of people don’t think about either when they’re battling depression is the simple, basic things you need to do to take care of yourself, right, the idea of just moving your body of eating good things for your body of sleeping, you know, of those just simple things that you have to do to make sure your body is in a place to do the healing work. I think that’s something that a lot of people forget, you know, when they’re trying to come out of places of trauma or, you know, despair. So I know we’re getting close to our time here, I wanted to ask you two final questions. One is for people that are, you know, maybe seeking mentorship in their life or wanting to have a mentor, or be a mentor. What are what are some steps you would suggest they take? Or maybe if you know, of good resources, or sites or anything to share of how to kind of kickstart that journey for folks?

 

Kimber Leigh  46:53

Well, well, I don’t know if I have the answers for that, where they would need to go because, for me, it’s been a miraculous experience of people just appearing. But then again, I do have the program that I run called the wow factor. The reason it is called that is because my mentor helped me develop that program. He said, Kimber, what’s the one thing people say about you when they meet you? And they always say, wow, I, I, whether they’re looking at me or listening to me, so he said, well, then you’re gonna have a program called the wow factor. But what the wow factor is truly is just, I rip you open, and expose all of the stuff that’s been shut down in there. So I do offer mentorship programs. I don’t know, Melissa, maybe you and I need to start a program. Yeah, we can have mentors come together, offer their services. Because mentoring is a gift of, of life, you’re gifting your someone a new life. And it’s not about money. It’s not about something successful for you. Because believe me, the universe will pay you back for your time.

 

48:19

Mm hmm.

 

Kimber Leigh  48:20

And other ways, so you don’t need to worry about that. But we should start some kind of program to make that available to people that need it. But people need in order for the mentoring to be successful. People have to come to you have to ask for the help. That’s the first step, right.

 

Melissa Farley  48:43

Yes, absolutely. And I would, I would love that. So so you all are witness to the possible birth and creation of something new and amazing. Between Kimberly and I. Yeah, we should definitely chat about that. And the other thing I wanted to ask you kind of in that same line is, can you share a little bit about your book that I see is behind you. And also where, how or where people can contact you if they’re interested in, you know, either more information from you or maybe pretty, I feel like people are just gonna want to thank you after this episode, too. So

 

Kimber Leigh  49:21

thank you so much. So yes, my book is called gretta garbage. It was endorsed by Mark Victor Hansen, who was co author of chicken soup of the souls. Another serendipitous moment for me. The book though it is a memoir, it’s because I stated earlier Somers made me redo the whole thing. It’s a guide for I share an experience that I had, but I also share how I overcame it. There’s also a 30 day challenge in the back when I do mentor people, they take the 30 Day Challenge But so far, no one’s ever stopped after 30 days, everyone that takes the challenge stays with the challenge, which tells me something good about that. I also have another book out, which is a workbook. It’s called achieving your miracles. And it, I took a lot of the things from the memoir and condensed it because the feedback was, a lot of people were saying, Well, I don’t want to refer to that page. And I just want to know, because I talk about the act of forgiveness. It’s a formula, if you want to change your life, because forgiveness is a beautiful thing. It frees you and your abuser. So I have an entire formula that is foolproof for that. So that book is called achieving your miracles. And my third book is cuckoo aloha frames from the Big Island. And that book is all of the images that I’ve taken here on the Big Island. But more importantly, there are secrets of aloha how you on the mainland can have an express Aloha, because aloha is the it’s a low the is the breath and the spirit of love and light. And it is a another gift. So all these books are on Amazon, or you can find them and reach out to me on my website, which is k m b e r a, l e i g h calm that’s Kimber a li.com. So thank you. And if anybody wants to reach out to me, please feel free to do that.

 

Melissa Farley  51:45

Thank you so much. Yeah, I, I will make sure that I put your contact information and some information about your books, in the show notes and on the Episode Notes, so people won’t have to hunt everything down. It was such a pleasure and an honor to speak to you today. I really again just felt like you had so much grace and wisdom and guidance to share it with the people that already listened to stronger today. And so I’m so, so thrilled that you accepted my invitation to do this today. And I just want to encourage and invite all of the listeners who are interested in mentorship, who are interested in getting some coaching or any kind of guidance. You know, Kimber is here for you. I’m here for you. We might have a new program available for you really soon. And there are other really incredible mentors, organizations. So many resources available for you. So if you’ve been thinking about doing this for yourself, please please, please honor yourself and take this step you are worth it. And you will get such tremendous gifts from this process. So thank you so much for listening to the stronger today podcast. We hope that you feel stronger and better after listening to everything Kimber and I had to share today. If you loved us, please give us a great rating. If not be like Thumper. Keep it to yourself. We will see you next time. You can find all of the

Thank you. Yeah, I love her deeply. And, you know, I think I just I’m always trying to think of ways to be better for her, you know, and in that way, it’s a gift back to me, right? Like, like, I learned so much from her, probably just as much if not more that she learns from me. And, and you know, too, I mean, Kimber and I just helped get a book out called from us, for you inspiring stories of healing, growth and transformation. And it’s it has all these women authors, 25 women that wrote these incredible stories, and we got to interview all of the authors. And Kimber knows, my favorite question to ask them is, what’s a failure you can share? Because I truly do believe that us it’s so valuable to learn from the failures of other people’s lives and experiences more so than than the victories. So I’m a big fan of that approach. And I think, you know, I think that’s funny that I didn’t even realize that with her, I was trying to protect her from those failures, you know, I was trying to find ways to help her, avoid those failures, when they are such a, you know, valuable part of life, you know, and they are unavoidable, there’s no way that I can, that I can reroute her completely around I’ll l failure. So, that’s, that’s so great that you said that. And the other thing you said to, that just confirmed it for me, somebody else that I that was on the board of the organization I work with said that mentoring is like growing a solaro. You know, it’s like, you plant the seeds, and you don’t see the results this year, maybe next year, who knows, it might take you know, all these years, but that’s the world will grow and it will be strong, and it will be fierce. And you know, and it’s going to be because of those original seeds you planted. And I thought that was such a great, great way to visualize that. You know,

 

Kimber Leigh  39:03

that is, you know, look at me. I mean, summers has invested six years in me, and that’s a lot of time. And I have blossomed and he, that’s what he loves. He the satisfaction that he gets is seeing where I am today, knowing the woman that I was prior. So for your young lady that you are mentoring. I think just listening is one of the other key things. Just listen, because if you truly listen, what they’re saying there is there is what they’re not saying. There’s an underlying thing that they’re not talking about. They’re coding, they’re coding it with some kind of facade because they’re too afraid to express deeply what’s going on. And so it’s your job as the mentor to wipe all That facade away? And what is the real question? So listening and asking them a lot of questions to the question that they have for you, is where the key is?

 

Melissa Farley  40:16

Yeah, you know, something really incredible happened to you that I wanted to share. And I’m not going to be able to explain this very well, because I’m not a scientist and things like go in and out of my brain. But I read this book about trauma and PTSD called the body keeps the score. Are you familiar with that book? Well, it’s, it’s really incredible, it kind of talks about what happens physiologically, and like chemically, when your body experiences trauma, and all the different ways it stores it. And it particularly talks about kids and youth, how they, they actually sort of lose touch with their bodies, and then don’t know how to express certain things. And all these barriers go up. And so there was this chapter that talked about, they found that when they would tie simple physical activity, like throwing a ball back and forth, or, you know, something like that, it was helping to unlock the parts of the brain that, that controlled that. And so they were finding that the children would be more vulnerable and, and talk more. And so the pandemic gave me such an unexpected gift, because originally I would take her to all these outings, I’d want to take her to museums and take her to get milkshakes. And you know, we do all these fun things. And then when COVID head, I was very cautious. And so I actually didn’t see her for a long time. And that was bothering me. And so then I thought, well, we could, the weather’s, okay, so we could just go for walks, I could drive to her house, and we could walk around her neighborhood. And oh, my gosh, it was like our entire relationship shifted and deepened, and she was talking more and like, there was something real to this idea of like, adding some sort of a physical activity to just being present with her and listening, like you were saying, all of a sudden, she, I felt like she let me in, you know, and it was this really magical moment. And so I just think that’s really, really fascinating. And I even advise that to people. Now with affirmations, like when you’re saying affirmations, go for a walk, or walk around your house and speak your affirmations out loud, because it like, it just does something different to your body into your soul, when you have that physical movement along with, you know, those things that you’re saying. So I just thought that was fascinating.

 

Kimber Leigh  42:41

Yeah, that’s very true. Because that four year period that I talked about earlier, where I isolated when I finally got the courage, because it does, it’s in your head, it’s in your DNA, you, you don’t really feel your body, and you want to. And so I took myself outside. And at one point, I could only walk from my house to the mailbox across the street. And then I eventually found myself walking five miles, and looking up at the clouds and take and I started, this is gonna sound bizarre. But I started seeing imagery in the clouds. And I started to photograph that. And it was a moment that got me back in touch with my body because I was having that movement of walking, and seeing and feeling the imagery. And yeah, so it is very true. And for anybody that’s listening, if you have had PTSD, or any type of trauma, the body is made up of energy, we have trillions and trillions of cells inside of our bodies that love to be commanded. And you have to move your body in order to move the energy and move that dysfunction out. So with every step that I took with the five miles, I left a little thought on the ground, all the thoughts of four years of thinking how horrible I was, and I put them inside the asphalt. And that’s how I read my body of all of that negativity. Yeah,

 

Melissa Farley  44:24

I think that that may be why I felt such a well, not just that, but you know, I felt such a kindred connection with you. When we reconnected later on, you know, more more recently in life because, you know, I had been through a lot of childhood trauma that I just didn’t address. And so when I left my corporate job, I knew that I wanted to take some time off to heal and I only did a year I didn’t do four years of isolation, but it was a very intentional isolative period of my life and right at the beginning of that, for the first time in my life, I got tired with PTSD, nobody had ever talked to me about PTSD. And so this was a totally new thing for me. And so I started walking, because I was so unhealthy and other ways I couldn’t, I couldn’t work out, I there was a lot of physical things that I just couldn’t do because of my health. But I could walk and it, it was miraculous, because they, I used to say, I would go on walks with God, because I, before I started doing affirmations, I would just talk, you know, to, to the universe, and to God about everything, and anything that was weighing me down, and that that what you said about, you know, putting it into the asphalt, you know, that’s how I felt, too. It was like, I was just letting it all go with every step that I took. And so I think that it’s a really freeing thing. And I think that’s something that a lot of people don’t think about either when they’re battling depression is the simple, basic things you need to do to take care of yourself, right, the idea of just moving your body of eating good things for your body of sleeping, you know, of those just simple things that you have to do to make sure your body is in a place to do the healing work. I think that’s something that a lot of people forget, you know, when they’re trying to come out of places of trauma or, you know, despair. So I know we’re getting close to our time here, I wanted to ask you two final questions. One is for people that are, you know, maybe seeking mentorship in their life or wanting to have a mentor, or be a mentor. What are what are some steps you would suggest they take? Or maybe if you know, of good resources, or sites or anything to share of how to kind of kickstart that journey for folks?

 

Kimber Leigh  46:53

Well, well, I don’t know if I have the answers for that, where they would need to go because, for me, it’s been a miraculous experience of people just appearing. But then again, I do have the program that I run called the wow factor. The reason it is called that is because my mentor helped me develop that program. He said, Kimber, what’s the one thing people say about you when they meet you? And they always say, wow, I, I, whether they’re looking at me or listening to me, so he said, well, then you’re gonna have a program called the wow factor. But what the wow factor is truly is just, I rip you open, and expose all of the stuff that’s been shut down in there. So I do offer mentorship programs. I don’t know, Melissa, maybe you and I need to start a program. Yeah, we can have mentors come together, offer their services. Because mentoring is a gift of, of life, you’re gifting your someone a new life. And it’s not about money. It’s not about something successful for you. Because believe me, the universe will pay you back for your time.

 

48:19

Mm hmm.

 

Kimber Leigh  48:20

And other ways, so you don’t need to worry about that. But we should start some kind of program to make that available to people that need it. But people need in order for the mentoring to be successful. People have to come to you have to ask for the help. That’s the first step, right.

 

Melissa Farley  48:43

Yes, absolutely. And I would, I would love that. So so you all are witness to the possible birth and creation of something new and amazing. Between Kimberly and I. Yeah, we should definitely chat about that. And the other thing I wanted to ask you kind of in that same line is, can you share a little bit about your book that I see is behind you. And also where, how or where people can contact you if they’re interested in, you know, either more information from you or maybe pretty, I feel like people are just gonna want to thank you after this episode, too. So

 

Kimber Leigh  49:21

thank you so much. So yes, my book is called gretta garbage. It was endorsed by Mark Victor Hansen, who was co author of chicken soup of the souls. Another serendipitous moment for me. The book though it is a memoir, it’s because I stated earlier summers made me redo the whole thing. It’s a guide for I share an experience that I had, but I also share how I overcame it. There’s also a 30 day challenge in the back when I do mentor people, they take the 30 Day Challenge But so far, no one’s ever stopped after 30 days, everyone that takes the challenge stays with the challenge, which tells me something good about that. I also have another book out, which is a workbook. It’s called achieving your miracles. And it, I took a lot of the things from the memoir and condensed it because the feedback was, a lot of people were saying, Well, I don’t want to refer to that page. And I just want to know, because I talk about the act of forgiveness. It’s a formula, if you want to change your life, because forgiveness is a beautiful thing. It frees you and your abuser. So I have an entire formula that is foolproof for that. So that book is called achieving your miracles. And my third book is cuckoo aloha frames from the Big Island. And that book is all of the images that I’ve taken here on the Big Island. But more importantly, there are secrets of aloha how you on the mainland can have an express Aloha, because aloha is the it’s a low the is the breath and the spirit of love and light. And it is a another gift. So all these books are on Amazon, or you can find them and reach out to me on my website, which is k m b e r a, l e i g h calm that’s Kimber a li.com. So thank you. And if anybody wants to reach out to me, please feel free to do that.

 

Melissa Farley  51:45

Thank you so much. Yeah, I, I will make sure that I put your contact information and some information about your books, in the show notes and on the Episode Notes, so people won’t have to hunt everything down. It was such a pleasure and an honor to speak to you today. I really again just felt like you had so much grace and wisdom and guidance to share it with the people that already listened to stronger today. And so I’m so, so thrilled that you accepted my invitation to do this today. And I just want to encourage and invite all of the listeners who are interested in mentorship, who are interested in getting some coaching or any kind of guidance. You know, Kimber is here for you. I’m here for you. We might have a new program available for you really soon. And there are other really incredible mentors, organizations. So many resources available for you. So if you’ve been thinking about doing this for yourself, please please, please honor yourself and take this step you are worth it. And you will get such tremendous gifts from this process. So thank you so much for listening to the stronger today podcast. We hope that you feel stronger and better after listening to everything Kimber and I had to share today. If you loved us, please give us a great rating. If not be like Thumper. Keep it to yourself. We will see you next time. You can find all of th