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Stronger Today Podcast | Episode 4 |Do you have a growth mindset?

by | Dec 14, 2020 | Stronger Today Podcast

If I’m being totally honest, I probably did hear about the growth mindset and the fixed mindset a while ago, but it wasn’t until just now at today-years-old that I was really ready to receive the impact of it. I am a person of a fixed mindset, my husband, on the other hand, is of a growth mindset and I feel like this simple delineation explains so much about who we are and how we function as humans.

The growth mindset is where you want to be. It basically means that you understand and value at your core that it is about the journey and not the destination. The fixed mindset tends to be much more achievement based, less open to new opportunities and growth and less, well, happy. Join me as I come to terms with the gravitas of this and also identify some ways to shift more toward the growth mindset. Because the good news is that if you’re fixed like me, you are not stuck! We share about leveling up, celebrating small wins along the way and setting growth goals.

Take a quick quiz to find out what you are.

Written by Melissa Farley

Transcript

Stonger Today Podcast | Episode 4 | Growth Mindset vs Fixed Mindset

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

growth mindset, fixed mindset,

00:00

Welcome to the stronger today podcasts where our whole goal is to make you feel stronger and better today than you did yesterday. I’m Melissa.

00:07

And I’m Pat.

00:08

And welcome to what is this episode four, five.

00:15

I’m not sure it’s been a while,

00:17

I feel like we should know this. I know we fell off the face of the earth. For a while I actually got sick, I had something called thyroiditis, which I did not know was a real thing. And even saying it, I feel like it sounds made up still. But I felt pretty awful for months and months and months and had a really bad migraine cycle. And so we took some time off to let me heal and get back. The good news is I’m on the mend. And so I’m actually feeling stronger and better today than all of my yesterday so far, for a really long time. So that’s been a really positive thing. We’re not going to talk like, this isn’t the subject of the episode, but I just want to say your health is not a joke, and like you know your body better than anybody else. And so, if you’re not feeling right, if something’s you know, just been off with you and you’re, you’re not yourself, go see your doctor, like, seriously, just go go, go get some laptop son gets get some work done and find out what’s going on. Because I think I let it get probably really bad before you finally sort of made me go see a doctor. And I honestly think it was because I was afraid I thought that I was going to have like some kind of cancer or something. And it turned out, it was totally treatable. And, you know, I had, I have a really good team of doctors now. And it was just never something I would even think, like to look up that, that I had thyroiditis, I didn’t realize your thyroid and your endocrine system, like, affected so much of your body. And so that was a really big learning experience for me. So I just want to advocate again, if you feel off weird, bad, gross, achy, not right. Go, go see a doctor go get some help. Okay,

02:16

so what are we talking about today? I don’t. I know, you said something to me, like weeks ago about what you wanted the next podcast to be about. But I I just don’t remember.

 

02:28

So I read. I don’t even remember what it was that I originally read, honestly, because it was that long ago. But I read something about a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset. And as soon as I read it, I thought, Oh, my God. That’s pat, pat is the growth mindset. No wonder you always it seems like you’re superior to me at all things because you like naturally have this growth mindset. And I have a fixed mindset,

02:55

I am not superior to you in all things.

02:59

According to science, you might be in this area. But it’s this, it’s it’s a really simple idea in this sense that a growth mindset is people that were either taught or just figured out kind of at a age that it’s not about the end result, it’s about the process. And so this idea that, you know, okay, you you might not know this thing right now, this, you know, this new thing. That doesn’t mean you’re not smart. That doesn’t mean that you can’t learn this new thing. It just means you’ve got to put in a little bit of work and effort to get there. And people with growth mindsets actually enjoy that process. They like the process of learning, understanding that they’re expanding their brain and their abilities, that makes them feel good. And then people like me that have a fixed mindset. It’s like you’re either good at something or you’re not. You’re either smart, or you’re not. And so like we’re the people that don’t enjoy necessarily learning the thing, but if we get an A on a test, and that subject matter, that’s what makes us feel good about it. Like we got we got our a that proves them smart and good to go on to the next thing to conquer. And so when I read about it, the context of the article was just this. This idea that people that have growth mindsets are happier. Which made sense to me. You’re laughing?

04:42

Yeah. Well, I mean, when you talk about growth mindset, I guess that’s that is kind of how I think about how I enjoy playing.

04:59

Just have a conversation. Tell me

05:00

I am. I am. I am. I am. I guess I guess. Yeah, when you started to explain to me the difference, I absolutely could see myself as being kind of the growth mindset person, I am not very good at many things that I enjoy learning how to do lots of new things. And it’s, it’s kind of enjoying the process of like, learning more and uncovering new information or new skills. And that’s kind of the fun part of learning a new, you know, anything new.

05:37

You are like, the poster child, though, for this growth mindset. And the reason I say that is because like, you know, a lot of times they say to you like, God, you’re always working, like you’re just always working. And that’s because from my perspective, when I see you in your little smelly Batman cave, you know, hunker down over your computer and working for eight hours, you’re usually learning something new, you’re taking a class, you’re learning a new skill, you’re, you know, you’re, you’re challenging yourself in some way. And to me, that seems so stressful. Like, every time I think about it, I’m like, God, he never relaxes like, like, doesn’t he ever want to just do something that he enjoys? And then it like it, like, hit me finally, like, Oh, no, he enjoys that part. Like, he enjoys the learning of something new. Whereas to me, I’m like, I would quit. Like, I would just quit profitably.

06:35

Oh, that that’s, that’s, that’s the fun of it is is learning. Like, for example, learning. I’ve been jumping into learning how to do digital illustration now, and I can’t draw for anything, but I’m, I’m learning all these skills that and being able to apply to other It was a big dog sigh.

06:57

Our Collie, just sighed,

06:58

big dog sigh. Yeah. Like learning all these kind of new skills, they end up being able to apply them in other ways. You know, so I do a lot of video editing, I do a lot of photography. So being able to kind of incorporate all this stuff. And it’s like, learning something new, opens up all these other possibilities, you know, and so yeah, it is the, the learning, diving in and being able to kind of like, open up a new door in my brain to it opens up all these other possibilities that I get excited about. Plus, I just think it’s fun. You know, being anytime you’re being able to be expressive and creative is just, I know, that’s, that’s a joyful thing for me. So yeah, when you whenever you do Say it, say to me, you’re always working in my head, I’m like, I’m not, you know, I’m, that was fun, though. I was playing I was, you know,

 

07:50

yeah, I think I think so much of it has to do with. For me personally, this idea of always having a pressure, probably mostly self imposed, that I had to, I had to be good, I had to be perfect. I had to excel, I had to be better than the rest. And so like, I think about an example of when I was taking chemistry in high school. And I put in a little bit of effort, and realize, I’m just not good at this. Like, I’m just not, you know, and so, for the first time in my life, I had a chemistry teacher, when when my parents were doing like, you know, teacher conferences, or whatever he looked, he knew that I had A’s and like all my other classes, he saw that my work wasn’t great in his class. And he literally told my parents, well, Melissa is just not trying, she just doesn’t she gave up, you know, she tried and she just kind of gave up. And I was so angry that he said that, like how, you know, how dare he, you know, and like, I just don’t, I just don’t get this. And so, and that, like, I think about that moment, and I think about growth mindset versus fixed mindset. And it was this idea that if I had to put effort into something, if I had to, like, really push myself, I just assumed that meant that I wasn’t smart enough. And that like what other option did I have, but to walk away and do something else? And so this, this concept that like, No, no, like, there’s actually a reward in the process of learning those things, you know, in and of itself, is is totally new to me. And one of the things that we talked about that I thought was really funny was like, this idea of, of celebrating small wins.

 

09:37

Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

09:38

Do you remember that conversation? Yeah,

09:39

yeah. So I think how you might look at sometimes you look at a project and you’re thinking like the end project, that’s the win. That’s the thing to celebrate. And, whenever I work on something, I always try to like sprinkle in lots of little wins. It’s like each each step each each bite of the elephant when you get it down is a win. It’s something to celebrate. Okay, I made I made this milestone today. And then it’s like, a couple days later, I made this other one. Yay. And as you get closer and closer to the end result, it’s like, you can kind of look back and see these these other milestones, you know, these these other things that that were great and little, little problems that you’re able to solve or hurdles, you’re able to jump that makes the whole process a little more enjoyable. And then,

 

10:30

yeah, it’s more fun that way.

10:32

And I think, would it, it sounds to me, like, what I’m hearing is that you like the end result. But you’re, like, you’d like the end result, but the backup?

10:49

Well, I actually think that’s a good thing you were about to say, because I’ve been thinking about this.

10:56

How about, I don’t, I don’t want to in the podcast, I don’t want to like be kind of going, oh bla bla bla bla bla. Okay, so well, I can I bring this? So, so why do you think that, that your focus ends up being on the end result.

11:16

Um, because that’s where the value and the worth has always been associated to me. Like, like, for example, I think I think when what we talked about, and because where I’ve always felt a little sad, is that I used to help run a film festival. And it was one of those things where I never really enjoyed it, because I was so stressed all the time in the process of everything. And I always would have this thought, like, next year, I’m going to enjoy it next year, I’m going to let myself enjoy it. And then, you know, the year would come and I would do the same thing. And, and so it wasn’t until it was after, you know, the actor showcase was after and the party planning was after and everything was after that it was like, Okay, that was good. Everybody like that my boss is happy, like, okay, I did good. And, and then I realized that I didn’t really get a whole lot of joy out of it, you know, it was always this constant. Yeah, this this pressure to just like, keep achieving. And so I never had, like, I wouldn’t celebrate, when we would get more actors than we thought we were going to get to sign up, I didn’t celebrate, when we booked a really cool judge, you know, for the competition, I didn’t celebrate any of those small things, because I was just so focused about this has to be perfect, you know, and so I feel like

12:44

the end result. Yeah, like, I

12:46

feel like I just got robbed, like, I robbed myself of, of enjoying that hole. Because I was really freaking cool. You know, like, that was a cool period of my life, and I just never appreciated it. And I think what I’m getting at is like, when I read about this, there’s like a site that’s kind of dedicated this blog to mindsets, you know, and, and it was really funny, because it was kind of like, growth. It was, it was basically like, growth mindset is the way to be like, if you want to be healthier, like if you want to, you know, learn more freely, and all this stuff, like, you know, you want a growth mindset. But if you’re a fixed mindset, like, Don’t get discouraged, like, and I’m saying it in kind of a mocking voice, but it’s absolutely true. It’s like, if you have a fixed mindset, don’t get discouraged. Just identify that you have it, and then start making some changes to not like to not have a fixed mindset and to have a growth mindset. And so, you know, I think I look at you a lot of times as my inspiration for that. But even that, even you, what you do feels a little lofty to me, like I feel like if I were to take No, that’s not true. I know that if I were to take a class like you like, I’m like, Oh, I just want to learn a new skill. And I’m just gonna go for it. I don’t I don’t, I can’t follow through, I’ll get too frustrated with myself. I tried to take a piano class, I got through one lesson, because I was like, I’m so bad. I’m so terrible at this. I should never even have tried this. And I just like walk away from it. So I guess maybe what I’m what I’m curious to hear from you is like, what’s maybe something small? I could try or do. That wouldn’t be so much pressure as like, learning this whole new skill set. But something that I can start to train my brain to be like, it’s okay that I don’t it’s okay that I’m a beginner. It’s okay that I don’t know this. In fact, this is a reward that I’m learning new things

14:53

So I think the first thing would be rather than trying to learn a whole brand new skill, why not Try leveling up something that you’re good at doing now. Like, you’re right, well, maybe there’s a. So instead of trying to take on learning, you know, a whole new skill, why not consider, like leveling up something that you already do, you know, if you if it’s cooking, and now all of a sudden you want to like bake bread, you know, that’s, that’s kind of more of a level up and it’s, it’s not so much like, Okay, I’m gonna learn how to play the ukulele or the banjo or whatever, you know

15:33

what you did try to get me to learn the ukulele By the way,

15:37

you were doing really good. I wasn’t you Really? Were?

15:40

Do you understand why that was so hard for me though now that we’re talking about? Yeah, no, I

15:44

get it. Because you were, you were doing a great, you were doing great. It was it was, I mean, you were you were moving along. learning an instrument is a slow process, but it’s, you know, I guess the other thing would be like, when you’re learning something new, you’ve got it is breaking it down into the smaller things, you know, so you want to say you learn how to how to watercolor paint, I’m taking these kind of classes. Where, okay, so I’m going to learn how to mix everything, you know, but the end goal is I want to be able to do a watercolor painting from my head, you know, but leading up to that. There’s, there’s the path kind of hits through a couple key areas that would be like, mixing color, right? How do I, how do I make the colors I want? So I got to figure that out, you know? Or then it’s like, what are the different techniques, okay, so it’s probably using a wash, alright, so I need to, like, do that. And then I need to learn how to paint from a photograph. And then it’s like, paint from my memory, you know, and, and each, each of those spots along the way is like, something to celebrate, Hey, cool, I learned how to mix colors. I learned how to use these these cool new techniques. And now you’ve got, you know, another tool in your box to do on this next thing. And eventually, you kind of get to where you want to be.

17:23

I’m smiling at you because I’m thinking about how when we started taking watercolor classes, and you started doing all the things that you just listed. That’s when I started getting frustrated, because I felt like it was stifling, like my natural creativity. And either like, I was just going to be able to make something cool or not. And like having these things that I needed these things, you know, that I needed to learn and put into practice. And like that felt so rigid to me, you know, and I started to get like that. And sometimes it’s, you know, I’ll just be honest, like sometimes I, especially as I get older, I start to question like, I might just lazy. Like, I really do think that like I think I must just be lazy, because every time I feel like I have to put effort into something. I have this aversion to it and, and it it makes me really question like, my drive.

18:26

You’re not lazy. I you’re pretty hardworking person. You know, you’re

18:30

just failure averse,

18:33

I think. Yeah, I think you just I think there’s sometimes a fear of failure. And then maybe if it’s something that you’re just not naturally good at, like that, you’re really good. You’re an actor and you’re very good with that. And you’re you’re a good writer, you’re you’re very good at speaking in front of people and you’re very you know, there’s there’s these things that you’re like really what?

19:03

Well, I he paused because I nodded my head no as he was talking and it’s because I was thinking about how, like, even with acting, right, like that was something I felt like came really natural to me. But like, when I would try to study like a particular method or like an approach and take classes that’s when I’d be like, I’m out. Like, like, I can never be a Meryl Streep, right like Meryl Streep will frickin learn a violin, you know how to play violin for a role and she’ll you know, go through these really intensive trainings and I am just kind of like I either get this or I don’t like I don’t it’s so I’m just realizing like how expansive this has been in my whole life and like everything that I’ve done, and I’m so it’s funny because I’m in a place Right now, where if I were to get this knowledge when I was in a depressive episode, I feel like it would totally just like, take me down lower. And I’d be like, well, I give up, like, you just can’t, you know, but I’m, I’m in a really healthy place right now. And so I’m more sort of like, intrigued of how, how I cannot be that way, you know, and anymore, and how, as a 34 year old woman, realizing that I’ve lived my entire life operating by certain set of standards, how do you let go of that, and, like, be open to this idea of failing a lot, but still having fun and learning things?

20:48

You know, uh, well, you know, who gives a really good talk about this, Ira Glass, Ira Glass is the kind of genius behind this American life does these really amazing audio documentaries, and just, I mean, like, all of the the documentary podcasts that are out there now, basically, are inspired by This American Life. And he’s got this speech that he gave, it’s on YouTube, well, we’ll put the links.

21:28

He’s got a speech on YouTube that he gave to two young journalists who were wanting to do what he did. And his advice was this, it was, you’re going to make stuff that sucks, you know it, but you have good taste. And you know, it sucks, because you have good taste. But as you do more, as you do lots, as you produce more work, it’s gonna suck and suck less, you know, and you just kind of go into it, knowing early on, I’m just not gonna be good at this, but but it’ll come. And it comes with practice. Because each step along the way, you learn something new, and you get better, and you get better. And then all of a sudden, you know, things that you had to really think about before, you don’t really have to think about anymore. Now those come naturally, and you’re able to concentrate on these up this, this other hurdle, and it gets better, you know. And in the way he kind of goes and explain that he shows he plays some of his his earlier, his earlier radio stories that were bad, and this is the guy who’s like, the best, you know, he is like, one of the best, you know, around, and to see kind of where he started and where he is now. It’s, it’s inspiring. It’s like, okay, yeah, yeah, it really is that 10,000 hour rule, you know, it’s like, if you want to be a master at something, you got to do it for 10,000 hours. And the more time you put in, the more, it really breaks down to that whole idea that there’s certain skills that once you internalize, and you don’t think about them, and it’s just like, it’s just like speaking, you know, like a musician, when they’re, they really know the violin, they’re not, they’re not thinking about where their fingers are going anymore. Now, they’re just thinking about the expression. You know, they’re thinking about the song, they’re thinking about the emotion. And pretty much like any creative endeavor, I think, is like that, you know. And so, really, what it is, is, it’s like, putting you’re putting your mind into getting to the point, little by little to where you’re not thinking you’re just doing.

23:43

But here’s where like, my cynicism comes in. And I like I’m not challenging you, but I’m just showing you like the way my brain works. Like, there’s just something in me that questions when people say stuff like that, like, like you were Ira Glass even right, like, he might not have been good when he first started out. But there was something innately in him that made him probably a better candidate for that than a lot of other people. Unlike you, you just naturally understand video storytelling, you can look at a story at a person at what’s going on, and you’re able to just really instinctively Intuit what works and what doesn’t, and what moves to make. And so like.

 

24:40

I would argue that that’s not instinctive that I had to learn all of it.

 

24:45

But there’s lots of people that have tried to learn and done thing and taking more classes and maybe gone to college, you know, specifically to learn video storytelling and they they can’t do what you do. So Like, I don’t know, I guess that’s what I always wonder. It’s like, okay, fine, you can learn, you can learn facts, you can learn how to do something, does that make you good at it?

 

25:16

Well, it’s the, you, you learn facts, you learn technique, and then it’s applying them. And then it’s, it’s also I think, like, the idea of associative thinking, right. So like, for example, I play the mandolin, right? I’m horrible on the mandolin, I’m really, really bad. And I’ve been, I’ve been learning for years and years. And I’m just, I’m just not good. You know, and I’m playing the mandolin, because I was even worse on the violin. But, but I enjoy it. And I, I can see that this incremental, getting better and better. But that stuff, the, the creative outlet of doing that fills my Well, you know, so I had this belief that, like, you have a certain amount of like creativity, and yet, you know, that, that needs nurturing. And so when, say you’re, you’re producing something for work that requires a lot of like creative energy, you know, waters getting drained from that, well, and you got to add to it, you know, you got to fill up that Well, again, and sometimes that means, through other creative outlets, you know, so it’s like, okay, that that well gets filled up, when I when I go and play my mandolin, and I’m learning these new new things and learning trying trying a new song. And that adds to filling up my well, that I can then use for work and use for like, what my primary interest is, you know, like, if we paint, like, I’m not good at that, but, but the act of like, learning something new and mixing color ends up like filling that, that well, for my primary outlet, you know, which for me is video and photography. So, so like, you know, cooking is the same thing, you know, not very great at cooking, but, but that helps fill the well and set that self nurturing thing.

 

27:26

I get that. And I totally agree with that. I mean, I think that I have always valued this idea that, you know, if you’re, if you’re trying to be creative, or work on a specific project, you don’t have to even necessarily focus all your energy on that specific project, you can go, you can go for a walk, you can go dance to your favorite music for 20 minutes, you can go, you know, it’s this idea of always, of just allowing yourself and your brain the freedom to create and to make into, you know, kind of become alive in a certain way. And that then touches everything else that you do. So I absolutely agree with that. I think that I just tend to navigate towards things that I am naturally good at. And I stay away from things that I that I don’t feel like I’m naturally good at. And then that really limits my possibilities and my options and my potential for for growth, you know, and I think that’s why I push back on you all the time when you’re like, Oh, you have an entrepreneurial mindset. And in my mind, I’m like, No, I do not. Because everything you read in every book about being an entrepreneur or starting your own business, it’s like fail and fail quickly, fail and get used to failing all the time. Failure is a part of the process. You’re just learning how not to do thing. And you know, and they have this very specific understanding and relationship with failure. And then for me, when I fail, it’s like a devastation. Like, it’s like, life comes to a halt, and I have an identity crisis. And I have to totally work through what am I doing? And what’s my purpose? And who am I and what am I good at. And then I pick myself off the floor and I’m able to move on. And maybe it’s this idea that if I just failed more, it wouldn’t be as dramatic every single time but I don’t feel like that’s it. That is not a natural tendency that I have, like that is something that that feels totally against how I’ve how I function, you know, so I think that explains even why I’ve had a hard time getting this stronger today going because you’ve you’ve called me out on it. You know, you’ve you’ve addressed that with me. It’s like what are you waiting for? And the truth is when we whenever we Talk about it. It’s like, I just don’t want to mess it up. I don’t like I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how I’m supposed to do it. I’m worried that it’s not going to be, quote unquote, perfect. And so then I just don’t I just back up. And I just don’t, you know, and, and I’m taking small steps to fix that. So like, for example, I realized that I probably needed to start doing videos on Instagram, talking about a lot of these concepts, you know, that we talked about in the podcast or my blog? And I thought, well, I don’t know, I don’t, I haven’t kept up with like Instagram trends. And I don’t know how to do this. And, you know, there’s all these really great influencers that do super cute things all the time and have these really meaningful video segments. And, and I just thought, Well, I’m just gonna do it, you know. And so I’ve been doing them for a couple days now. And they’re, they’re not perfect, they are not, and they’re not snazzy, but I’m doing it. And I feel like I’m figuring it out slowly. And so I’m proud of myself for that. And so I guess I’m kind of looking for. I’m not asking you to answer this either. But, you know, in my mind, I’m looking for more opportunities like that, like what you were saying, like leveling up, essentially, like, how do I kind of take something and let myself be uncomfortable. And the next level for a little bit?

 

31:28

I’m, like, super uncomfortable doing these podcasts, you know, but it’s getting easier. You know? We’re dog sighing is such as saying, dog.

31:50

Well, maybe we’ll share a picture of him laying at our feet right now. So you can see why you keep hearing dogs.

 

32:01

He’s a good boy, though. So these, these podcasts are uncomfortable for me, you know, in Little by little, it’s getting better. And just like, what this podcast will be in a year or two years, it’s gonna be totally different than it is right now. You know? And that’s because we’re gonna be walking down the path learning these lessons kind of figuring stuff out and getting better, you know, and we’ll look back on some of these conversations and laugh.

 

32:33

Oh, yeah, we absolutely. Well, in fact, that’s something that I think I’ve mentioned her before maybe on one of our other podcasts, but Quinn Tempest, who’s you know, she kind of coaches entrepreneurs and has a create your purpose. Business, she is on a solo retreat right now reflecting on, like, her year and where she’s been, and then kind of thinking about 2021 and wish wescoe. And she was talking about how she looked at this video that she recorded back in like, 2018 when she was first starting out. And, and just like all the, like, all you know, how everything is so different now and, and realizing kind of, where she came from, and where she is now. And I think that’s really

 

33:25

valuable.

 

33:26

Here’s the thing, though, like, if you could go from point A, to B, without going anywhere in the middle, like life would be so boring. You know, I mean, life would be if all of a sudden you could go from being having a desire to being like, awesome at it immediately. Like, what value is there in that? You know, like, there’s, there’s value in getting better get

 

33:52

to be awesome at everything.

 

33:55

Boring is that, why is that boring? Boring? Because? Because do you have? How do you know you’re awesome? Because you don’t have your you don’t have anything to compare yourself to? You know, you can’t, you can’t look and see like, where you were where you are. And if you’re automatically awesome at everything, then it’s like, how can you even appreciate being great at something?

 

34:19

Yeah, no, I totally get what you’re saying. I just wish I really wish. I’m like, I’m thankful that I’m at this place now where I’m understanding this part of myself, but I wish that I had understood this when I was a kid. You know, I think about like, how terrified I was to play sports because I was bad at them. You know, and, and how I wouldn’t audition for school choir because I you know, I just, I just really, really, really, really either let myself do things or not do things based off of being good. Good enough. And I think that that’s one of the things they talk about actually is like, there’s a, there’s a big difference that it can make with how teachers and parents interact and like reward kids at a young age. You know, like, for instance, if you tell a kid, good job, you’re so smart. You know, that leaves the impression that the only reason they’re saying I’m sorry, it’s because I got an A on this test. And so I have to keep getting A’s on tests, because I want them to think that I’m smart. But if you reward the effort, Hey, good job, buddy, on studying all day, for this exam, that’s awesome. I’m really proud of you. You just rewarded the process and not the results. And then they feel more motivated to actually spend time rate, doing the work doing the process, as opposed to, you know, sludging through the work to get the a and then get the reward. And so, I honestly can’t, like I was trying to think about that, like, I can’t think of specific moments in my life, or like my parents made like, I don’t think really did that. I really do feel like that might have been a result of, of the system like of school and have kind of just how society operates as a whole. Testing in Yeah. Yeah.

 

36:33

Okay, so going forward, then, like, what? what is what is it that you would like to do that, um, that you’ve kind of been scared to do up till now, like you say, you want to kind of focus on doing something that’s more kind of process oriented? What? What do you want to do?

 

36:56

Um, I actually really would like to learn how to play the ukulele over, okay. Like, I was really excited about that. Well, let’s go back to do the I

 

37:05

enjoyed that. That was a lot of fun.

 

37:07

I know. And I i’ve always, I already feel like I let everybody down. Because we kept making jokes about how it would be fun to play Christmas carols, me on the ukulele I knew on the mandolin, and now we’re not gonna be able to do that, because I quit.

 

37:20

That’s not true, we can still do it. Oh, God.

 

37:21

We’ll see about that. That might be a next year goal. But but but yes, I really would like to learn the ukulele, I really would like to learn some of the techniques for watercolor because I will admit, like when we did that force perspective with the lines, and when we learn how to add people, like that was one of my best paintings, like when we painted pump pay, as opposed to when I just, you know, I’m just gonna do whatever I want. I mean, they’re gonna, so I would like to learn more, some more techniques. But the big thing that I want to do, which may sound small, but I actually think this is gonna help me quite a bit. And that is, I really want to celebrate smaller steps, smaller, smaller parts of the process, I don’t want to wait until something is finished. Or when I feel like Excuse me, I don’t want to wait until something is finished. Or I feel like I’ve done this big thing to allow myself to celebrate, I want to do more of what you do and set kind of conscious victory points,

 

38:33

you know, a great place to do that is what your bullet journal.

 

38:38

Now I hate bullet journal.

 

38:44

I set those goals. Can

 

38:45

you do that in my planner?

 

38:46

Can you do that? You can do it whatever you want, okay, can do whatever you want. I just that’s where I put those. Those moments, you know, that’s right, I celebrate those moments, but it’s also where I break down my bullet journal, like, oh, a project, I’ve got it all all kind of put the milestones, what are the milestones for this?

 

39:09

You know, what I think is helping me organically with that process. So that I’ve been practicing gratitude. Because, like, every morning when I walk, I’ll say out loud, at least five things that I’m grateful for. And a lot of times I will allow myself that, that space to acknowledge myself, you know, like, I’ll say, and not for like all five of them, but all I’ll say like, oh, a, I learned to do this thing and it made me feel really cool. And you know, I’m proud of myself for it. And and that’s not something that I

 

39:47

did

 

39:49

at all

39:51

until I started practicing, like gratitude in general. And so I think that’s been a good like, ease like step up to the Like, conscious celebrating of small wins. And it’s funny, I think this is like, almost like a conscious topic right now for a lot of people because I saw this other life coach, Sol Sol Ballard did a video last week where she was talking, she was like running, she was on a run. And she was like, I just got hit with this thought. And this idea that, like we keep, we always wait until, you know, there’s something really big to celebrate. And why do we do that? Like, why don’t we? Why don’t we celebrate all the small stuff, too? And I was like, yeah, that’s what I’ve been thinking. Why don’t I kind of

 

40:37

think of creativity is language. You know, it’s, it’s the language of expression. And the more

40:46

that reminds me, I want to learn Spanish again, too, I gave up on that,

 

40:50

go for it.

 

40:51

Because I was doing really good. I was just because I was doing really good. And then I got bumped to this level where they like, Don’t give you hints anymore. And I started failing. I was like, I’m out

 

41:05

that just bet you’re getting better. But, you know, creativity is kind of the language of expression in, the more stuff you learn, the more the more techniques, the more or effort you put behind that, the more vocabulary you have, you know, the more complex of sentences you can make, the more complex your expression can be.

 

41:30

Again, it wasn’t one of those things where when I read about growth mindset versus fixed mindset, I wasn’t like, oh, fully, there’s a way to be happy and great. With both a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. It was like I read it, and I was like, Oh, yeah, no, no, that makes a lot of sense, you know, to, to come from a place of the growth mindset. And so I guess that’s what I want to encourage a lot of our listeners on this episode today is, take some time and think about how you how you process things, how you operate, how you approach learning, and new experiences. And if you are more like me, and kind of probably in that fixed mindset zone, like Don’t be mad at yourself, you know, be proud of yourself that you recognize that and feel empowered that you can start making some changes and some choices to become a growth mindset person. I mean, there’s there’s absolutely science backed research that just because you are a fixed mindset right now doesn’t mean that you can’t become a growth mindset person. And that’s, that’s what’s encouraging about it. Like, if you can acknowledge that and make the choice, you can adapt and become this way. And so, there’s a blog called mindset works calm, it’s kind of a cool resource, they have a really quick quiz you can take to tell you, sort of, you know, where you’re at? And I just answered it really honestly, like, as I was reading the questions, I was like, Well, I know, I’m supposed to answer this, because I’ve spent all this time reading about mindset now, but I answered it, how I would have you know, even before and, and, yeah, I, I’m, I’m fixed, like, I have a fixed mindset. Um, but it’s, it’s a cool site to kind of check out and see what programs and things that they have to work on this. And I really think, truthfully, that like, this is kind of like, the secret sauce, like the, the hidden key kind of this, this foundation for happiness in general, you know, if you can, if you can start mastering this area of your life, if you can start allowing yourself to live with a growth mindset. Like there’s just so many benefits to it, you know, and, and there’s so many more possibilities that are going to be open to you, because you are now open to them. And so that’s kind of why I really wanted to talk have this conversation and do this episode, because I feel like I’ve been learning a lot this last year, but like, this was the first one that felt like, a smack in the face. Like, hello, here’s what you need to be paying attention to.

 

44:36

Notes. The whole idea of the journey is the destination. You know, maybe a cliche, but but it’s true. You know, it’s kind of like what you see along the way enriches the whole trip.

 

44:48

Yes. Yeah. I think what I am going to do, and I’ll I’ll say this on the episode so that I can be accountable to myself and to you is I’m going to intentionally take a growth mindset approach to stronger today and allow myself to be bad at things and just do them and learn from them and grow from them instead of waiting for stuff to be perfect before I release them or try something new. So please keep that in mind. you consume my content, that this is the place that I’m coming from. And I also would love to ask, you know, if you’re listening to this episode, and this resonated with you, this, you know, hit something inside of you, you know, what are some of the things you’re going to be doing to try to operate more from a growth mindset perspective? What are you know, like Pat asked, you know, what are what are some things that you want to take on? And, and challenge yourself, I would love to hear those.

 

45:53

I’m really excited to get to play more ukulele. I’m holding you to that.

 

46:00

Someday, someday. You’ll hear you’re hearing this at the very beginning and like two years from now, we’ll probably have like an intro song to the podcast, which is all ukulele that’s how confident I am that we’re gonna we’re gonna do this. I’m not learning mandolin

 

46:17

No. The intro song will have you Oh, Liam. Yeah,

 

46:21

mandolin I’ll be on Yeah. All right. You heard it here first folks. What what we are working for

 

46:32

our fun little instruments.

 

46:33

Yes. Well, thank you so much for tuning into our episode today. You can find this episode and all the previous episodes on stronger today co or stronger today. podcast.com. Make sure you give us a good review if you dug us and if you if you don’t just keep keep your opinions to yourself.

 

46:59

Can’t say something nice. Don’t say anything at all, says Piglet. But thank you all so much. We hope that you feel stronger and better today than you did yesterday. Bye bye.

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